Doctors Orders-Winter Addition

By sterry on February 3rd, 2012 Edit

It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s rainy. Hello mid winter! At this point in the year it’s hard to find motivation to train let alone get up off the couch and stop watching episodes of Battlestar on Netflix. So I prefer to focus on letting my body recover from all the hard work of the race season. And one of the biggest complaints I hear from my “patients” when they come into my “clinic” is joint pain. And here is what I tell them- eat a lot of greasy food. I know what you’re thinking “Doctor this makes little to no sense.” But hear me out, after the long race season your joints will have lost some of their natural lubrication and the easiest way to replenish that is greasy food. As your body digests the grease from say a half pound of bacon, or a plate of french fries it will make sure that some of the grease finds it’s way into your joints. Thereby re-lubricating them and healing the damage you did during the races. So order that extra strip of bacon on your burger tonight, it’s good for you knees!


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By Christian on November 1st, 2011 Edit

Isaac Frost of Green Submarine Records demonstrates some mad pumpkin crushing skills at the Day of the Dead CX race.


Video courtesy of the pumpkin-splattered Hannah Moore.

And Jimmy gives us another view on the action.

Old timey style

“Don’t you wanna know how it works?”

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Day of the Dead CX Super D in Bend Oregon

By Christian on October 31st, 2011 Edit

As ripped by John Gulick on his Raleigh singlespeed CX bike.

Day of the Dead CX Super D

In case you were wondering… He’s got a flat bar with with v-brakes, and is running Clemente Crusade PDX clinchers tubeless on Stan’s ZTR rims at 35 PSIA front and 36 PSIA rear.

When it doubt, assume that John is airborne… We assume.

It’s a 30 minute video, and we make no claims as to its work or child safety.

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Doctor’s Orders-Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on October 20th, 2011 Edit

What the what? It’s already Thursday and I forgot to write my tips this week! Sorry gang I was busy “diagnosing” my “patients” and “writing them prescriptions for HGH!” I mean antibiotics, I don’t even know where a person would get HGH. But back to business, one Hannah Moore asked “Is it possible to eat too much peanut butter on race day?”

A good question Hannah! We all know that Cross racers love their Peanut Butter (or PB as they call it around the team tents) and consume it on waffles, the traditional PB&J or just spoon it straight out of the jar that they keep in the back pocket of their jersey. But can you eat too much? The short answer to your question is no. The long scientific answer is “no it’s nearly impossible” You see PB is actually so delicious and packed full of energy that you can eat as much as you want with almost no side affects. The only thing to be careful of is eating so much that your body slowly starts replacing your blood cells with PB molecules. But current estimates say that you would have to be eating about 12 16.5 ounces jars an hr for that to happen. So I think you’ll be safe. That’s it for this week, see you at the race on Sunday!

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.

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Doctors Orders- Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on October 12th, 2011 Edit

Hey Gang!

That’s right it’s Wednesday already and it’s time to answer so questions from you Green Submarine Records racers. So let’s see what we’ve got this week. Diana Stephens ask-” Dr. how do you fit a heart rate monitor below your bra?” Diana, I think that what you want to do is first make sure you have the nicer style of strap that is mostly cloth and not plastic. Then you want to ahhhh gently ummmm…. place the monitor, between your…. no that’s not right. No first make sure the strap is not to tight so that it doesn’t impede your breathing. Then place it just under you errrr…..ummm breasts making sure you don’t ummm put it up too high because that would be uncomfortable for obvious reason. You know I might not be the best person to answer this perhaps one of our female readers can help you out. Let’s move on to another question

Tuuli Hakala ask- “Any tips for racing during that time of the month?” Well Tuuli first thing you should do is…… Does it seem hot in here to you? Man I’m burning up. Anyway what you want to do is….errrrrr maybe find a um saddle that wont… Jeez I’m sweating through my Doctors lab coat. The next step is to make sure that your shorts fit properly and …….what was that assistant person? I’m needed in the lab? Well if it can’t wait I’ll be there right away.

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.

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Crusade Race # 2 Rainer

By sterry on October 10th, 2011 Edit

Rainier. At least this year the weather wasn’t bad and the course wasn’t a giant nearly impossible to ride mess. A smaller contingent of Subs still showed up and raced their butts off , turning in good results just like normal. But still that hill…. It got so bad this year that Chipps decided to flatten the grade out while racing with her “Laser Eyes” Literally “killing the hill”

And while the hill certainly is awful, people often forget to talk about the other, equal difficult obstacles out there. Like the cats that Isaac had to fight off. He got away with just a scratch, but had he gone down when they were close by…well I shudder to think what would have happened to him.


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Doctors Orders-Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on October 5th, 2011 Edit

Hello All!

Once again this week finds me answering questions from loyal readers. This weeks question comes from one Tuuli Hakala who says “Dr. Dave you should write your next article on the right foods to eat during race season so that i’m not STARVING ALL FREAKING DAY LONG no matter what i seem to consume.” Good question Tuuli!

I like to start the day with a nice big bowl of oatmeal and fresh fruit, it keeps my energized throughout the morning (not to mention it keeps me regular) To get your recommend servings of fruit in each day why not bring fruit into the office to snack on throughout the day? For lunch try a PB&J sandwich with a cup of yogurt too. Then cap the day off with a nice dinner of pasta with a big salad! While this works for me it seems that the FDA has updated it’s “food pyramid” to a “food plate” so let’s take a look at this new info from the FDA to see what we should be eating.


Well we can clearly see that we should all make sure we are consuming enough of the four basic food groups; burgers, snacks, pizza and pie. And while this goes against everything I’ve just written above I can’t argue with common sense advice from the government. So in light of that, might I suggest that you try this tasty hamburger for dinner tonight Tuuli?

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine






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Doctors Orders- Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on September 28th, 2011 Edit

Hey Gang,

This week I’m answer questions from you my loyal readers! (I know there is at least one of you out there) Christian from Portland Oregon says. “I’d like to learn more about waffles as a pre-race meal.”

Well Christian here’s some information about waffles. The waffle is an idea pre-race meal if consumed a few mins before that start. Not only does it provide a large quantity of carbohydrates that your body can burn as energy, but the variety of toppings can add to the fuel. For example if you like peanut butter and Nutella on your waffles like I do, you’ll get the addition of protein and a huge sugar rush right before your race! That’s great news if you’re looking to get that hole shot. On top of it’s ability to deliver vital nutrients right before the race, waffles are also light and fluffy and go down easy and don’t weigh you down during the race. So in summation Christian, eat waffles.

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.

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Doctors Orders-Racing tips from you team “Doctor”

By sterry on September 22nd, 2011 Edit

It’s widely known that eating too much sugar is bad for you health. It causes weight gain and can lead to diabetes. So as racers we should try to avoid eating too much of that tasty, tasty sugar. So I recommend taking your coffee black, avoiding soda and ice cream and eating more of natures candy, fruit instead. But since I know we all like to ingest a little of that sweet, sweet substance anyway, do like I do and load up your oatmeal with brown sugar every morning. Bam! You got all your sugar consumption out of the way first thing, now you are ready to go about your business. Now back to my lunch of Pop Tarts and RC Cola. God I love sugar!

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.

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Doctors Orders- Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on September 14th, 2011 Edit

So you’re headed to Hood River this weekend for the Hood River Double Cross eh? I know what you’re thinking- Partay! Let’s go find us some flat brim hat wearing, redbull drinking, large truck driving sno-bros and gals and rock this town. You know show them that cross racers really know how to drink their local microbrews. But the reality is that you’ve got to race two days in a row fool. What you need is sleep and lots of it. Getting proper rest will allow your body to fully recover from your workouts or races. Thus helping you be at your best on the 2nd day of racing when the rest of the field might be looking a little haggard and still tasting last nights PBR. Not only that but when you’re asleep no one can tell you that you’re slow over the barriers and you have bad handling skills. Sleep well Subs

-Doctor Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.

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oRegoN StAmPeDe (aka, the overly long ride report…)

By sarah on September 12th, 2011 Edit

probably got a little long winded here. the short version for anyone who doesn’t feel like scrolling through the rest of this is: i went. i pedaled. it was hot. i mostly survived. i went home. the end.

the prologue to this gravel grinding ride happened last friday, sept. 3. the unrecommended, unexpectedly interrupted, booze cruise home from a movie in the park. mitigating factors: wine, flip-flops, unequally loaded panniers, and a false sense of security. (nothing goes wrong in a few blocks, right?) the upside? the bell volt helmet works marvelously, and probably saved me thousands of dollars and a serious head injury. (my secondary inspection of the ‘uncracked’ helmet revealed a rather large crack on the right side of my forehead.) the downside? had to use a week of my vacation time as my mild concussion/oozing face did not really have me in work appropriate form for about 5-6 days.

i’m sure we’ve all done it, but it was a wake up call for me. will continue to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear my helmet, but no more drinking + biking. shit happens.

in any case, sept. 10th was my 32nd birthday, and i had been looking forward to spending it at the stampede all summer. the head and face pulled itself back together just in time for the occasion, and it was game on.

the stampede is a 60% gravel, 127 mile, 9000+ ft of climbing ride out in the deschutes river valley put on yearly by velodirt. technically, it’s a race, but i think most people were just trying to finish. i knew the last stretch involved a 10 mile descent through somewhat steep gravelly areas, and that some people were doing it last year in the dark, so my overall plan was to get an early start and avoid that situation.

i left town late friday evening with my freshly-cyclepathed cross bike and new wheels, hit the campground just before midnight, and set up camp in the dark. (sounds exactly like last weekend. must get better at leaving town at the anticipated hour…)

woke up the next morning well before the ass-crack of dawn to install a new set of gravel tires so i wouldn’t trash out my new mud tires. i neglected to ask the guys at cyclepath whether they had already done the tubeless set up when i picked it up….and learned at 530 saturday morning with a pile of white drippy latex at my feet, that yes. yes, they had. palm to forehead moment of the day.) attempted to install tube + gravel tire #1, couldn’t get the bead up over the rim, and decided that trashed out new mud tires would be better than wrestling these other suckers in the hot sun all day. left the rear tubeless set up alone, threw a tube into the front, and was good to go….

had lost a good chunk of my planned coffee drinking/breakfast time, but fortunately, my JVA neighbors at the campsite had over estimated the caloric (and fiber…) needs of their stomachs with an enormous pot of oatmeal, and set me up with a nice bowl of bob’s red mill. throw in some peanut m&ms, and all was good.

segment 1:

the sun was out, and when everyone started rolling out just before 7, it was already somewhat warm. the first 25 miles were probably the worst. the climbing started immediately, with no real flats or downhills to get my legs warmed up. just 3000 ft. of gradual up. up. and Up. no way was i doing this for 127 miles… the first rest stop was at 40 miles, and i was SURE there would be someone in town willing to take a $100 cash to drive my ass back to the campground. had settled into this game plan when the descent started. 10 miles of gentle descending on winding gravel roads surrounded by gorgeous views of the desert landscape of the river valley, and i forgot all about the sufferfest. on to 5 miles of paved flats, and i actually rolled into town with a smile on my face. i was making decent time, and there were quite a few folks sitting out on the front steps relaxing. all was well with the world.

ride stats at this point: 4000 ft. of climbing. 40 miles. 1 empty 3L camelbak, 2 empty water bottles. time to restock, reslather the sunscreen, and reslather the chamois butter (except i forgot to pack it. thank goodness the magic purple shorts are invincible. right.)

segment 2:

the sun is still out, slightly hotter, but this is okay, as the second stretch rolls through a nature preserve with trees, streams, and a little change from the gravel covered roads and hot pavement. it was *almost* like mountain biking, much to the delight of many, and to the chagrin of those who dare to bring (and were now walking) their road bikes. maintaining a decent pace with eating and drinking, and was well-hydrated enough to be a sweaty, grinning mess. one short episode of getting lost, but i backtracked and was back on the path a mile or 2 later. still smiling, still in the trees, still not back out in the hot, glaring sun. hit pavement, and a full 10 miles in the heat to realize how hot it had gotten, and slowly and tiredly made my way into tygh valley.

ride stats: 70ish miles, 5500 ft. of climbing. camelbak and bottles are again empty. morale is not quite high, but i am still smiling and imagining finishing before dark. i restock supplies, eat an icecream cookie sandwich and a big bottle of root beer, and continue on.

segment 3:

i had heard stories about this part from various other riders i had seen along the route to this point. ‘an optimism-crushing climb.’ ‘totally demoralizing…’ i was trying to block this info out and keep a positive mindset–how hard could it REALLY be? there weren’t any mountains in sight, and the depth of the rive r valley didn’t seem to be any worse than the west hills. the verdict? it was 4 miles, 1500ish ft, and wouldn’t not have been so bad if i hadn’t already ridden 70 miles in what was now (per report) 100 degree heat with 430pm sun hitting me in the side of the face (should have worn sunglasses…). folks started to crack on the climb, and i passed 3 guys who had gotten off to walk, and 1 that had gotten off to get a few minutes rest in the shade of a guard rail. i stopped pedalling at least 3 times to rest my head on my handlebars, and kept getting back on, mostly because i knew i wouldn’t be able to keep riding if i walked, and the next rest stop was 20 miles away.

FINALLY. at what seemed like the top of the climb, donnie, the ride organizer, was waiting at the top with a cooler full of gatorate, water, and beer for tired riders. having already learned my lesson on this one, i stuck with gatorade, but beer definitely seemed to be the beverage of choice for those just cresting the climb. i stopped and stretched. i had my head doused in water, and my bottles refilled before setting off for what i had been telling myself the entire climb was going to be a glorious descent.

i mentioned this to donnie, and he very sadly shook his head–‘it’s nothing but rollers from here to grass valley (i.e., rest stop #3). this is a rough section of road, no matter how you look at it.’ i put my head on my handlebars one last time, scrolled through the remainder of my happy thoughts, felt another wave of dizziness, and rolled on forward. appearance at this point? i am no longer sweating. my fresh water is no longer cold, and i no longer feel any relief when drinking it. i’m chewing on sour gummy candy and a power bar to give myself something to do, but i feel like ass. none of my mental tricks are working. 5 miles seems like an eternity, much less the 40 that are still to go at this point.

i convened with a group of guys who were also feeling rough. we were at the point where no matter how you do the math, we were going to hit the gravel descent in the dark. we pulled out our maps, and decided to cut out gravel sections to grass valley in favor of paved to make better time. it was no longer about ‘doing the route,’ and more about ‘making it back in 1 piece.’ i had no plans to crash my bike a second time in 2 weeks, and since i was currently riding in wavy lines on flat pavement, i had already decided that i was going to be walking any gravel downhills.

donnie passed by in his car, checking on us and other riders. on the first pass, i gave the nod that i was ok, but in the coming few miles, knew that there was no way i should be pedalling the last 30 miles out of grass valley. maybe if i knew people at the campsite that i would be able to call. maybe if i was consistantly riding with people i knew and trusted if this ride hit the fan for me. no and no. i was working on my back up plan of paying someone or taking a cab from grass valley back to the campsite when donnie passed by again to check in.

DONE. FRIED. i told him i could make it to grass valley, and even though it was only 3 miles, it was a LONG. 3. MILES. of FLAT. PAVED. ROADS. i kept wanting to pull over and just lie down on my handlebars again.

reaching the grass valley market was a high point of the day for sure. the final day tally? 99 miles, 8100 ft. of climbing, and that horrible, horrible feeling, of knowing that you really need to eat and drink something, but that the thought of both just makes you feel ill. i filled up my bottles, ordered a cheeseburger and fries to bring back to the campsite, and went outside to lie down on a picnic table. I force fed myself a powerade and the french fries, packed everything else up, and waited for my ride.

i started feeling better in the car, at least until the driver started seeming creepy. (donnie was picking up piles of riders at this point, and had started taking volunteers from people who had already dropped out and quit or had finished to help make sure no one was lying on the side of the road along the course. I had gotten a ride with one of these guys….). began with all the requisite small talk, which morphed into an awkward conversation about all the places he’s seen me around town, but how he had always imagined I was younger than 32. my gut feeling is that he was just an awkward dude, and though beggars can’t be choosers, I was really glad to arrive back at the campsite.

forget the kegs of free beer. forget the small parties happening around the fires. forget the celebratory birthday whiskey. i grabbed a hot shower, clean clothes, and curled up in my sleeping bag with a cold, mushy cheeseburger, and passed out.

the end. survived. everything else stressful in life seems pretty minor for those hours/minutes/seconds that all you REALLY need is a cold sip of water and a flat place to lie down. one of the best/awful feelings in the world. i feel a little guilty about quitting, but i imagine i would feel way worse if people i didn’t know were squandering their evening searching for my carcass on the side of the road because i didn’t know where my safety limits were.

Happy birthday to me.


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Doctors Orders- Racing tips from your team “Doctor”

By sterry on September 8th, 2011 Edit

In this hot and dusty preseason races it’s important to stay hydrated. So make sure you drink lots of water all week long before your race and try not to drink too much beer afterward. This will help you continue to be the amazing racer you are. Pro tip- to scare your adversaries drink lots of tomato juice so when you sweat it looks like you are sweating blood. I wouldn’t want to race against someone who sweats blood, would you?

-Dr Dave Sherry, Doctor of Medical Medicine.


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Wednesday night, here I come!

By Christian on September 2nd, 2011 Edit


Just had to get in on the new bike bandwagon. After all the fun I had racing singlespeed this summer, a Major One was a natural addition to my collection.

I’m catching back up Sarah…


Eugene Celebration

By sarah on August 29th, 2011 Edit


it was hot. it was humid. a 3 mile uphill time trial with the primary goal of making sure no one entered the next day’s road race with a fresh smelling jersey. at least i think that was the point of it….

stage 1:

it was hot. it was humid. jersey had a little ‘je ne sais quoi’ going on with it, though i will say it did not yet smell horrible. 2 laps making up a 37 mile loop. i may have uttered an ‘FTS’ or 2, and refused to chase the pack on the first climb. i picked off a couple stragglers who also couldn’t hold on as i went in to lap 2, met up and traded pulls with a lone sorella for the rest of the ride, and that was that. nothing exciting.

post race– no one in eugene seemed to know about the eugene celebration stage race, mostly because none of the races actually took place in eugene. eugene celebration is actually a music/food/art/hippy fest, which is why downtown had become one giant pile of dreadlocks, dirty feet, and kamikaze unhelmeted bicyclists. i shoved a pile of thai food down my gullet, and spent the afternoon napping in the park.

post nap, i stumbled around until my contact lenses were unstuck, and walked into the subway store near our motel to utilize the facilities. i bought a cookie and soda, then asked for the restroom key. DENIED. it is a new tactic to boost sandwich sales. ‘buy a sandwich or you can’t pee in our bathrooms!’ (i am totally. 100% serious about this. i didn’t waste a lot of time arguing my point with the airhead behind the counter, but did tell her that if the restrooms were reserved for paying customers, that i would like my cookie and soda to be free and we could call it even.)

fortunately, the ninkasi brewery had better customer service skills, and i had no choice but to show my appreciation with the purchase of a pint or 2.

stage 2:

it was hot. it was humid. jersey is encrusted with dried sweat and can nearly stand up and walk away by itself. i almost wish it would, because it smells horrible. this stage was a flat 15 mile TT. lots of fancy bikes, helmets, and aerobars. given that i don’t own any of the aforementioned fancy gear pieces, and that i’m a little too lazy to bother with the hassle of them, i just went out and rode my bike. nothing exciting. i was glad when it was done.

in between stages: ate food and napped in the park.

stage 3:

it was hot. it was humid. jersey smells worse than horrible, but no longer stands up by itself since it is still wet from the morning TT. wriggled my sweaty unshowered self back into my sweaty smelling spandex while attempting not to flash anyone in the parking lot–no small feat, by the way. this last stage was the crit, which would probably have been much more fun had it not been out in a dusty industrial park in the middle of nowhere. the race was painful-ish, but not horrible. i took my turn pulling on a couple of laps, tried unsuccessfully to sprint for a prime, and failed to catch back up to the pack post sprint with 3 laps to go. Came pretty close, but when they all started off again halfway through the last lap, i was cooked and had nothing left.

rolled slowly back to my truck to prepare for the drive home and see a text message with a picture of green subs drinking post race beers on a grassy lawn.

can i get a do-over of my weekend plans? kruger’s looked and sounded about 500% more fun. congrats to everyone who raced—it was great looking through the race results and seeing that so many peeps went and battled it out at the kermesse!

looking forward to an upcoming 2 weeks of absolutely zero competitive activities. (i am opting out of the david douglas cx race in favor of a mtb/camping trip to oakridge with some friends leaving thursday night, coming back saturday evening. there”s still an extra seat in my truck if anyone else wants to join…)

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In which we learn something about Isaac Frost.

By sterry on August 25th, 2011 Edit

After climbing for 10 plus miles we had finally made it to the rim of Crater Lake. We thought it would be smooth sailing ahead, but then Isaac revealed to us his true identity. He is in fact the Wizard of Wizard Island! That dastardly villain who strikes fear into the residents of the Klamath Basin. Needless to say we were shocked.

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Study: Beer beats water for hydration

By Chris on July 27th, 2011 Edit

GRENADA, Spain(UPI) — Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body.
The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone, The Telegraph, a Biritsh newspaper, reported Friday.

Read the full article here:

This blog post is brought to you by Klamath Basin Brewing Company, the official hydration sponsor of Green Submarine Records.

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Phil Liggett

By sterry on July 26th, 2011 Edit

The TdF may be over. But that doesn’t mean we can’t all start memorize great Phil Ligget quotes to yell out at each other on team rides. I really do think he’s one of the greatest annoucers in sports history. One of my personal favorites “He’s dancing on his pedals in a most immodest way!” Here’s a great list of them to start with. And a great video so you can get the voice down.

Phil Liggett

So everyone start practicing your Phil impersonations and get ready to start dancing on those pedals.

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KOM Baby

By sterry on June 17th, 2011 Edit

Because I know this wont last long once more people start using the Strava site, I figured I should save my King Of The Mountain ride before it’s crushed.

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Sports quotes

By Christian on June 10th, 2011 Edit

Got this as an email forward. Not sure how many are applicable to cycling, but a few made me feel better about my athletic travails.

I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect.
Doug Sanders, professional golfer

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives “See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.”
Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers Pitcher

Last year we couldn’t win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play.
Harry Neale, professional hockey coach

When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers; I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.
Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver

I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you’re having trouble.
Tommy LaSorda, LA Dodgers manager

My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.
E. J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations

My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.
Vic Braden, tennis instructor

When they operated, I told them to put in a Koufax fastball. They did – but it was Mrs. Koufax’s.
Tommy John N.Y. Yankees recalling his 1974 arm surgery

I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.
Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles

We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.
John Breen, Houston Oilers

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.
Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints after viewing a lop-sided loss to the Atlanta Falcons

When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.
Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher

The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.
Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach

I have discovered, in twenty years of moving around the ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.
Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner

Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t want to blow the whole day.
Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon.

I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.
Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game

I tell him “Attaway to hit, George.”
Jim Frey, K.C. Royals manager when asked what advice he gives George Brett on hitting

I learned a long time ago that “minor surgery” is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.
Bill Walton, Portland Trial Blazers

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Dirtbag Diaries: Ditch Logic

By Chris on April 22nd, 2011 Edit

If you have some time, here’s an interview with my college roommate and good friend Gregg Bleakney.

Dirtbag Diaries

“In 2005, Gregg Bleakney was on the rise. He was crushing his job as a software executive. At 30, he owned a beautiful home complete with white picket fence in North Seattle. He had a serious girlfriend. He drove a fast car. His sofa was black Italian leather. He had all the trappings of a successful life, but Gregg also had a secret. Something he wasn’t sharing with his boss, his family or friends, even his longtime girl friend. It was an idea that was about to change his life. Today, we present Ditch Logic. Evolving as a person isn’t always pretty.” –Fitz Cahall

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Dads: The Original Hispsters

By Chris on April 22nd, 2011 Edit

“Your dad rode a bike before you did. When you dusted off his old bike in the garage, did you think by some form of velo-magic it had appeared there? No, your dad rode that thing hard when he was younger, just like your mom. And now, because of having to support you living in Portland, he doesn’t ride anymore. So what do you do? You come home for Christmas, steal his bike and then strip it down into a converted fixie. Well hipster, next time you’re doing a track stand on the corner of 6th and Davis St remember, your dad’s balls sweated on that seat first.”

More here:

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Horning’s Hustle MTB XC

Sun, 10 Apr 2011
Photos: Nat - picasa  

Wow wow wow wow ouch.
Two years ago Dave, John and I innocently raced Horning’s Hustle on a warm spring day. I was a complete newbie in my first XC race ever, and the 2-lap 80-minute race absolutely kicked my ass. I was in disbelief that anyone could ride longer and farther on that course than I did on that day.
Fast forward two years, and I am now sitting on the line in the Men’s Cat 1 field ready to race. John, Ken, Christian, Isaac and Chris are all at the starting line looking saucy in their Green Sub kits ready to race in their categories as well. The race director announces at the last minute that they are going to incorporate a “starter lap” into the race, which will not count toward the total lap requirements (little did we know that the starter lap was actually almost ¾ of a full lap!). Because I am Cat 1, it means that not only is my race twice as long as the last time I did this race, but there will be an extra starter lap as well! Gulp. That basically equates to 5 laps. Again, gulp. Oh, and it was raining, of course. It rained the night before, and it continued to rain off and on throughout the day. By the time we started the race, the course was already sloppy.
Knowing that I was going to be out there for a while, I did my best to be a conservative racer. This is not easy for me, as I typically just go until I crack and then hold on for dear life. I knew that this course, the conditions, and the duration of the race would not work if I blew up early. So instead of flying up the first hill, I just cruised smoothly, then kept spinning and spinning, never grinding and burning out my legs. If felt strange to not immediately hunt anyone down who tried to pass me, but low and behold, the tortoise theory seemed to work. I continually watched people crack, and I kept cruising past them. As the race progressed, the course got muddier and muddier and the laps got slower and slower. I have never been in my tiny gears as much as I was on this course, and I was going fast relative to most people. Crazy. By the time I was on my 4th and 5th laps, the downhill sections were ridiculously muddy and rutted out from all the crashes and people choosing to walk their bikes. I got tossed sideways, slid over stumps, yanked out of my pedals, almost rolled down the side (not the trail) of the hill but instead bounced sideways like a kid jumping down a sand dune, and it wasn’t until I on the very last lap that I really ate it hard, flipping over my handlebars. I have no idea how or why I went down, but I popped up, put my fender back on and continued on my way with a droolie smile and my granny-gear spinning.
I crossed the finish line a little under 3 hours, and placed 4th in the Men’s Cat 1, 19-34 age group. I was very proud because not a lot of people finished the race, let alone 5 laps. My bike and I definitely paid the price, but after a beer, many oranges and bananas, and a good long bath for the both of us, we were mud-free and still functional. This race was fun because it was a true test of handling, strength, endurance, strategy, preparation and will-power. Every race is always the most difficult while you’re competing in it, but it is hard for me to think that many can be as strenuous as Horning’s Hustle 2011. Congrats to all who competed. I’ll let the other boys share their epic stories.

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Horning’s Hustle video

By Nat on April 11th, 2011 Edit

Great first lap footage shot on a go-pro helmet cam by Ian Mastenbrook. Believe it or not, this was when the course was the most ridable. Over the next couple of hours it got crazy slippery! Check out the guy going over the edge (i hope he is ok). Wow.

Horning’s Hustle video

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Echo Red to Red MTB XC

Sat, 12 Mar 2011
Echo, OR • map
Photos: Gallery  

Wow. This race looked like a fun, dry, fast single-track dream (which it was), but it kicked my ass. I competed in my first Cat 1 XC race ever, and boy oh boy I’ve got some work to do. For the first 20 miles I was great, riding up with the top 5 of my Cat/age-group, but then something switched. And by switched, I mean switched off. I just lost all power, started getting really crampy, and could only think about food while singing Journey’s “Separate Ways.” Translation; my body was shutting down and I was slowly going insane. This sounds very doom and gloom, but really I had a great time. I definitely faded at least 15 minutes of my race away over the last 10 miles. I still finished mid-pack in my Cat 1 race, and the race was exactly what I needed. It hurt, it pushed me way beyond my comfort level, it kicked the lingering sickness out of me, and it has fueled me to get out and put in some big miles on the MTB.

We had a great weekend with the team as well. The group of us (pictured above) drove out Friday night and stayed in the luxurious Comfort Inn. Of course we all slept with our bikes in the rooms with us. They needed a good nights rest as well.

It was most of the team’s first XC race ever. Congrats to Ken on placing 4th in the Men’s Cat 2 35-44! Jeff and Christian finished quickly a few minutes later. Hannah, Diana, Krissy and Phaedra all finished their races with smiles. Sarah and Tuuli joined us for the trip, and each did a great job. Tuuli got 6th place in her Cat 2 field. It was quite the introduction to XC racing for everyone. The biggest credit of the race goes to Issac. I think he changed around 8 flat tires, including his multiple times (even at the start line!). At a certain point he became trailside assistance for those in need. As we were all comparing blisters after the race, he was showing us his beat-up flat-tire-changing fingers. There are too many details, so I’ll let him tell the story. He’s got some serious good cycling karma coming his way!


Race website


Adult hide and go seek league

By Christian on January 27th, 2011 Edit

On Saturday’s ride, we’re talking about that new Portlandia TV show, and Juleek turns to me and asks if it’s true that there’s an adult hide and go seek league. I told him that I didn’t know.

Juleek says, “Let’s ask Dave, he’ll know.”

I think about this for a second, “Wait, this is fuckin’ ridiculous that Portland is at the point where we’re even wondering if there’s an ‘adult hide and go seek league’. Furthermore, that’s a major insult to Dave that you think he would know!”

Dave then told us that there is no adult hide and go seek league, but that we were welcome to join him for frisbee golf sometime.

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I heart Meemie

By Nat on January 18th, 2011 Edit

It’s been a season of making lots of new bike accessory friends, but none of them are very handy if the rain stops you from getting out there and using them. This friendly jacket is the answer! It is waterPROOF, windproof, and the wash instructions are as follows: hose-off, shake, done. Beer. And the best part, it is only $20. Damn straight!

I have now ridden in the rain a handful of times with this jacket, and the only moisture underneath was my sweat. No rain. The best test was yesterday for a couple hours on the mountain bike in the wet mud. I was covered in sloppy slop, and when I got home I took off the jacket to find that my clothes underneath were completely clean. I then hosed off my bike and my jacket, and it’s ready for the next test.

I was afraid that it was going to feel like wearing a plastic bag, but luckily there are some vents in the jacket. You do not have to wear much underneath this thing because it really is windproof. Just a baselayer to keep the moisture off of your skin, and maybe another layer for comfort in the extreme cold will be more than enough in most riding scenarios. Oh, and of course the clear jacket lets your team kit show through with pride. It is critical for everyone to know that I ride on the same team as Mark Cavendish. When you see me out, you can just assume that I dropped him on the previous hill.

I’ve been looking for a truly waterproof jacket, but they can cost hunderds of dollars. Now that I have my Meemie, it’s hard for me to imagine a better deal than this. The full zipper works, and you can roll this thing up and stuff it in your back pocket. It’s not the tiniest compact jacket, but I have done multiple rides with this stuffed a jersey pocket.

Rain sucks, but this makes it suck slight less. I’ll revisit this review if/when something noteworthy presents itself.

Buy it!

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Rally Racing

By Christian on January 8th, 2011 Edit

Whenever I try to explain cross to people who’ve never seen it before, I tell them it’s like rally car racing for bikes.

Rally Racing

If I was going to race cars, this is how I would want to do it.

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My newest best friend

By Nat on January 5th, 2011 Edit

Please let me introduce you to my pal, Stella 300.

This light has allowed me to do full-speed sprinting workouts at night in the rain, without any hesitation. I also think it has protected me countless times from the evil drifters who lurk in the dark shadows of Washington Park at night.


More CX course rankings for 2010

By Christian on January 3rd, 2011 Edit

Here’s my list. Mine pretty closely align with my best races, but I do best on courses where I can stay on my bike and maintain speed. Oddly enough, I like those courses best.

1. Kreuger’s Crossing
A bonfire, pumpkin barriers, swampy barriers, a hay-bale hill, and a great atmosphere made this course uniquely CX. The weather was cold (snowing), and the course slick, but if you stayed focused, upright, and grinding, it would reward you for putting to use the skills and tenacity you honed during the season.
2. Battle at Barlow
For my race the mud was still rideable, so this probably moves it up my list relative to everyone else. What stands out in my mind on this course is the epic hill. One of the things I love about CX is that it’s man (and machine) against nature. You felt it on this course in a big way.
3. Cross Crusade: Clatsop County Fairgrounds (Astoria) – Day 1
I flipped the days on this relative to Nat. I liked that the hills were more or less rideable in this direction, and that the run-up was better. Atmosphere was fantastic too.
4. USGP of Cyclocross – Day 2
I agree with Nat that riding a fully taped course is something every CX racer should try at some point, and perhaps the same could be said for just riding a USGP course. I think that here in Oregon we get used to a certain style of CX, and that’s not necessarily what they do around the country and in Pro-style courses. You could hit 30mph on the flats on this course, the barriers were an afterthought, and there was no significant hill. That’s not all bad, just different. The other cool thing about the USGP was that at this point in the season it’s all the die-hards, plus the ultra-die-hards coming in from around the country. Fun.
5. Cross Crusade: Clatsop County Fairgrounds (Astoria) – Day 2
Barely-rideable descents dropped this course down my list. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun, and maybe it was the hangover, but this wasn’t my fav.
6. Pain+Suffer’n CX
I think the bad rep this course gets is because people aren’t in shape yet. In October if you could magically go to 70F weather and jump a log in a barely rutted field and be more prepared for that run-up, you’d be stoked for this race.
7. Cross Crusade: Sherwood Forest Equestrian Center
This course kicks the shit out of you. If you’re technically solid, you’ll do well. If you can climb like a goat, you’ll do well. If you can do both, you’ll win.
8. Hood River Double Cross – Day 2
If this course had a little more variation I’d have put it higher, but maybe the lack of variation is what made it so cool. The fact that this course was so wide open meant that you could really see where the race was. Now in my case, an early fall meant that I was chasing down the leaders the whole race, but on another course I would have been blind to their position, but here I could open up and really focus on where I stood. Also, the paddock of mud was a great technical challenge for early in the season, and fantastic for spectating.
9. USGP of Cyclocross – Day 1
Really, this should probably be closer to day 2, as the courses were very similar, but whatever.
10. Cross Crusade: Washington County Fair Complex (Hillsboro)
Similar to HR2XD2, this was flat and wide open. The muddy off-camber offered an interesting technical challenge (and great spectating), and otherwise the course was rideable if you kept your head down.
11. Cross Crusade: Rainier High School
This could be the best course in Oregon with a little work. An epic descent with large, open, sweeping curves, and a challenging climb that more courses should emulate, this course asks of you all that you have. I don’t know that this should be the final race of The Crusade, but second to last would see more people ready for what it throws at you. The organizers need to find a way to shed water from the course such that it doesn’t become a death march through the woods, and the narrow paths next the fence are probably a little dangerous.
12. Cross Crusade: Barton Park
Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the open cesspools, but this course doesn’t rate well for me. That said, the steep drop is awesome, as is the run-up to the finish.
13. Hood River Double Cross Day 1
Lack of room to pass led to minor accidents, and boneheaded course layout made this downright dangerous on the bridge. Toss in a course marshall on an ego-trip, and this was one of my least favorite races of the year.
14. Cross Crusade: Alpenrose Dairy
Atmosphere here is awesome, but at some point the number of people is just ridiculous. The new back section on this course left something to be desired, and overall the course just seemed uninspired. Still, it was a fun day.
15. Blind Date at the Dairy Series
I feel like I’m turning into an Alpenrose hater, but in this case I just don’t like racing in the dark. Right Krissy?
16. OBRA CCX Championship
Good climbs and a neat descent made parts of this course fun. Unrideable sections, sketchy off-cambers, random poles, and dangerous transitions made parts of this course really not fun. If there was one saving grace, though, this course gave you the opportunity to put some of the tactics you’d learned during the season to good use. I’ll give it that.
17. Cross Crusade: Portland International Raceway
This was just one long mud bog. Not really all that fun. Maybe we should have headed up to Seattle…

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2010 cyclocross course rankings

By Nat on December 29th, 2010 Edit

In honor of all the year-end lists for everything, I thought I’d take a moment of my vacation time to reflect on the 2010 ‘cross season, and rank (in descending order) the race courses from this past wonderful season. My list is compiled from what I remember of these courses, as I sit here on my sofa looking out the window at the rain and eating chocolate-covered blueberries. It is important to note that the weather had a huge influence on my rankings, as mud can make or break a course. And as we all know, the type of mud is the most important part. If I had made this list a week ago, I’m sure it would look differently, and if I look at it again I’ll start to re-arrange it, so I’ll stop now and leave it as is. I’m also sure that next year it will be completely different than this. We had a wet season, and some venues that were so-so the previous year became incredible with the addition of rain and mud, while others suffered. I’ve tried to not let my finishing place influence my rakings below, as the rankings pertain to the course as it was on race-day, but I’m sure there is slight correlation. Here’s my list. What’s yours?

1. Cross Crusade: Clatsop County Fairgrounds (Astoria) – Day 2
This was the perfect course; mud, technical off camber drop, slippery corners, quick will-breaking climbs, high-speed descent, fast pavement, plenty of room to pass and race, and acceleration after acceleration. Perfection!
2. Cross Crusade: Clatsop County Fairgrounds (Astoria) – Day 1
Very similar to Day 2’s race, but it was ever-so-slightly less technical. The varied terrain makes this venue fantastic, and the quick up & downs really create great racing. There are so many opportunities to go down, so riding cleanly is critical.
3. Cross Crusade: Sherwood Forest Equestrian Center
I know this is probably on the bottom of a lot of people’s lists, but I absolutely love this course. It is so fast, with a killer run-up, and the best climb of the year. It was dry, so the speed on the back half of the course was amazing. It hurt, but it hurt so good.
4. Blind Date at the Dairy Series
I have to lump the entire series together, even though the course changed a bit each week, it used the majority of the same terrain each week. The laps were short, really fast, and always entertaining. The run-up was fantastic, because it always offered the opportunity to be ridden. Each week really allowed for true racing against the competition. There was no room for error, and by the end of each race, things seemed to sort themselves out properly. Every week was my new favorite.
5. Pain+Suffer’n CX
Again, probably not on a lot of people’s “like” list. For some reason, I loved this hot dusty painful race. There were so many barriers, and the steep uphill followed by the continuous gradual climb really hurt, yet it created a great race. The addition of the SW section of the course with the off-camber switchback sections took an average course and made it awesome.
6. Battle at Barlow
The stair run-up always makes this course unique, but the addition of a lot of peanutbuttery mud and hidden ruts made this race really fun. The off-camber berms, followed by the fast pavement corner is great as well. The mud changed throughout the day, but for my race it was slippery and perfect.
7. USGP of Cyclocross – Day 2
There is something special about racing on a course that is entirely taped. No cones, just an endless taped chute. This course was fast, with flypaper mud, and some quick off-camber up & downs with tons of cornering. Everyone had fun racing here. Plenty of room to pass, yet everything was tight and twisty.
8. USGP of Cyclocross – Day 1
Even muddier than the second day, with mud so thick it could pull your shoes off. Slightly less technical than day 2, but still an amazing course for racing the competition.
9. Cross Crusade: Washington County Fair Complex (Hillsboro)
This was a mudfest with more muddy mud. This course would be rated lower had it not been so muddy, but the giant wet mud bogs, along with the endless amount of slippery mud corners really made this flat course an absolute blast. The off camber straightaway was a bonus for the racers and the spectators.
10. Hood River Double Cross Day 1
Very cool course design. Lots of grass, and good tight corners. The lower run-ups are great (as long as you run across the bridges, not ride off!), and the smaller fields make the single-track feel a lot of fun. It is difficult to pass, but that is part of the appeal.
11. Cross Crusade: Barton Park
Some serious high-speed happening here. The muddy berm drop is very entertaining as well. This course is not as technical as it looks, but it does take its toll with the steep run-ups and flat stretches of hammering. Great for racing (not for delicate tires!).
12. Cross Crusade: Alpenrose Dairy
Love the variety of terrain, and the tons of tight corners. The backside addition was great, but the classic steep run-up was missed, as well as that entire portion of the course. It is a zoo, and very difficult to pass, but the huge fields and chaos are part of the charm.
13. Hood River Double Cross – Day 2
Even though this is not at the top of the list, it was still great, and possibly one of the best courses for pure tactical fitness racing. Almost like a crit. It was muddy, but still quick, and had a nice running section through the mud pit.
14. Cross Crusade: Rainier High School
This could be consistently the best course of the year, but this year the mud was so thick that it had to move down the list. Mud is great, but this was SO thick and slow, that it was silly. A lot of people just ran entire sections, and others just slogged along at a crawl pace. Still, the route is amazing, the climb is killer, and the terrain is so varied. It hurt, and if the goo was a little different, allowing us to ride more, this would be at the top of the list.
15. Cross Crusade: Portland International Raceway
This was really wet and muddy, which made the simple course fun. They cut out most of the technical aspects of the course, so it became very straightforward racing in a lot of mud. It was a blast, but really lacked the technical off-camber aspects that PIR is notorious for having.
16. OBRA CCX Championship
Crazy off-camber mud. The majority of the course was off-camber mud followed by paved sections. The climb was deceivingly tough. This course is rated last because a lot of people were crashing on the pavement, and into other immovable objects. The course design was really well done (aside from only 1 barrier), but the amount of clay mud made the race less enjoyable than it could have been. Still, I was glad to have raced it. Even my least favorite course was still fun.

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On the way home from Ken’s Christmas party

By Christian on December 12th, 2010 Edit

I get out of Hannah’s car, and a someone starts talking to me as I walk across the street…

Homeless guy: I know I’m black, but I don’t have a gun.

Me: Ha! Not in this neighborhood you don’t.

HG: Look, I know it’s a cliché, and it’s totally my fault that I’m going to sleep on the street tonight, but…

Me [interrupting]: I don’t have any money to give you, but would you like a beer?

HG: What? Um, yeah.

Me [taking a tasty 22oz Klamath Basin Brewing IPA from my bag that Ken had given me not 10 minutes before]: Here you go.

HG: Woah! That’s a serious beer!

Me: We’re serious people.

HG: Wow, thank you. You’ve really changed my opinion about people around here!

Me: No problem, enjoy!

HG [as we’re walking away, shouts back]: Don’t think that I’m not going to drink this!

Me: You should!

HG: Thank you!

Me: You’re welcome!

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USGP – Portland – Day 2

Sun, 5 Dec 2010
Portland International Raceway • map
Photos: Nat - picasa  

Last race of the season! The exclamation point means many things: sadness that the fun has come to an end; happiness that the season has been a smashing success for both myself and our wonderful team; relief that my body will get a little reset rest; and excitement that the process now starts over, with a focus on xc mountain biking.

Now, back to the race at hand. Christian and I were again the only GSR representatives racing, and again we arrived at the breakabreaka dawn to get warmed up. Day 2, although it was windier, seemed a little easier to warm up. My body said “i know what you are doing, but i don’t like it.” So I said back “shut up body. one more time, then we can sleep in, eat pizza and drink brewski after brewski.” “Ok” it said reluctantly back to me. We spun on the trainers for a bit, trying to hide from the piercing wind. This day, the Single Speeds got to start before the B’s, and I was right up at the front of the starting line. “Tweet” the whistle blew and we were off. I took the hole-shot for the initial straightaway and first grass corner, and then let a few of the pro ss dudes go by on the first mud bog. One thing that was great about this course was that it had plenty of room to pass, and you could really settle into your race. So if there was a guy next to you after two laps, it was because you were likely very comparable racers. I got into my groove quickly, but it did hurt. I probably could’ve chosen a slightly easier gear, but oh well. It took almost two laps to feel charged up, and in the third lap I got a second wind and started to try a charge. I flew by a couple guys, hit the straightaway, looked at my chain for a second and then ended up in the tape and sticks. Huh?!? That was stupid. The two guys I had just dropped now went past and I had to do it all over again. I moved forward through the remainder of the race, and today we did 5 laps, as opposed to the 4 we did the previous day. They were slightly quicker because some of the mud had firmed up. The course was similar, but they added more twists and turns, as well as a few off camber up&downs, and the motorcross area featured a more obvious run-up, followed by a very sticky-yet-ridable descent.

My final result was 14th place. It did not feel as great as yesterday, but it still felt very good. Christian again rode a solid race in the B’s and finished 25th.
After the race we high-fived in celebration of completing the season still sitting upright and smiling, and then headed to Bumblekiss for a well deserved breakfast.
Nice job everyone! It was a fantabulous season, and now 2011 XC MTB is just around the corner.

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USGP – Portland – Day 1

Sat, 4 Dec 2010
Portland International Raceway • map

This was an awesome race!

Christian and I got to PIR at the crack of dawn (litterally) to participate in our first USGP race. I had forgotten what it felt like to warm up for a race early in the morning. The icy wind made things even more interesting.

Luckily we were able to pre-ride the course the day before, so we only had to concern ourselves with waking up and getting warm. We set up our trainers next to my car in hopes of shielding some of the wind, and before we knew it, it was time to get over to the starting line. Bundled up in more layers than I’ve ever raced in, I waiting in the starting chute with the other Single Speeders, and Christian waited in the Men’s B group right in front of us.

The whistle blew and the B’s shot off the line, then two minutes later we followed. The course was on the pavement to start, so we got up to speed with everyone spinning out their single gears until we hit the flypaper-like mud. The entire lap was lined with tape, so you just weaved your way through the course, perfectly guided by the tape flapping in the wind. It was a cool sensation, sort of like bumper bowling, except we were the balls and the pins were the other riders, obstacles, mud, roots, and everything else that jostled us.

The course seemed fast because of some of the straight paved sections, yet the overwhelming amount of tight weaving corners negated the speed, as well as mud that was completely unridable. While there was plenty of classic mud-that-used-to-be-grass sections, the motorcross area at PIR was like good Dennison’s chili; “chili so think you can stand a fork in it,” execept this chili could stand an entire bike up. I actually dismounted and my bike was suctioned in place in the mud. Overall, the it was a fun course that rewarded efficient cornering and quick burst accelerations in between the corners.

When all four laps (yes, only 4) were said and done, Christian finished 19th in the B’s, and I finished 13th in the Single Speeds. We were both happy with the results, especially considering the talent at the front of each of the races.


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Frozen trail

By Nat on November 24th, 2010 Edit

Leif Erickson, covered in ice. If you’ve never cornered on iced gravel, you simply must try it. The mountain bike was magic on this crunchy goodness.

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There is nothing quite like…

By Nat on November 23rd, 2010 Edit

…the crunch of icy dirt beneath your tires.

Could’ve done without the flat, otherwise the SS ‘cross bike on a frozen Mt. Tabor was rad rad rad. Now let’s hope for some snow, and then bust out the mountain bikes!



Kruger’s Crossing CX

Sun, 21 Nov 2010
Kruger's Farm • map

Christian killed it! He worked his way through the MudRainSnowSleetSlop and finished 4th in the B’s. His best race of the year. Jimmy also stepped up to the plate and braved the weather to have a solid race in the B’s.

Chris finished 23rd in the the tough Master’s B race. He showed off his mad pumpkin-hopping skills.

Sandy had her race of the season in the Beginner Women’s field, finishing 16th! Nice. Diana also plowed through the mud with the addition of Grundelbruiser arm-warmers. Her colorful attire definitely made her faster. Phaedra also showed no-fear in the 36 degree slop, as she happily pedaled her way around the tough course.

Great job to everyone who raced!



OBRA CX Championships

Sat, 20 Nov 2010
West Salem High School • map
Photos: Gallery  

Tough race.

Christian and Ken raced B’s, while John and Nat raced SingleSpeeds. Gears were a good choice on this course, as were 4″ toe spikes and motorcycle tires.

Ken used his running skills on the giant off-camber section (note: the majority of this course was off-camber) to finish 17th, just ahead of Christian who finished 19th. Christian did do his best superman impression, although rescued no one, didn’t wear a cape, and definitely did not land gracefully.

Nat and John participated in the self-inflicted sufferfest that was the singlespeed race. The mud was so slippery and slow, and the hills were deceivingly long and slick, that really no gear choice was the right gear choice. Nat took the hole shot for the first 2 corners of the race, but quickly realized that he was WAY overgeared. After the first lap he went down hard on a pavement corner, and then just conservatively settled into the race, eventually finishing 15th. John started back a bit, rode hard, faded, and then surged to a strong 20th place finish.

Definitely one of the toughest courses of the season. So much off camber and unrideable mud with transitions onto pavement, followed by lung-busting climbs. That said, it was still a lot of fun.

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Flats are for suckers (and I am apparently a sucker)

By Nat on November 14th, 2010 Edit

Ahhhhhhhhhh! This was my race, sort of. Today at Barton I felt soooooooooooo good. I felt so good that I tore a hole in my beautiful rear tubular tire on lap 5 of the Men’s A race, just as I was making my big move. I had to run run run, then decided to get a pit wheel and finish. The pit wheel didn’t fit, my brakes were pinned against the rim, it wouldn’t shift, but I still rode the last two laps as hard as I could, and ran up the hills even harder. After the race I realized that I also put a hole in my front tubular, so now I have two very fancy and very flat tires. Ugh.

This was my first “mechanical” of the season. It happens, oh well. But damn, I was going fast, and the race was so fun! Thanks to everyone for sticking around and cheering for me, you all make me smile a big muddy grin. Even though the result does not reflect it properly, I was happy with the portion of my race when I was really racing.

Good job everyone!

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Class Act Bicycle Repaint Special!

By Sandy on November 14th, 2010 Edit

Hey, guys! While fixing my bike I came across this awesome bike repaint special that Class Act’s offering. To strip paint and powder coat with one color it’ll cost $99. Other places had quoted me anywhere from $200-300. The offer is valid until January 5th. Here’s a link to the ad: Powder coat ad! I was pretty reluctant to repaint my rain bike, but its taken some wear and tear and an overhaul is due. Rust is not your friend!

Close-up images of one of Class Act’s paint jobs.

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Cross Crusade #7 – Hillsboro

Sun, 7 Nov 2010
Washington County Fair Complex • map
Photos: Gallery   Gallery   Chris - flickr  

(Overdue race report)

If one were to write an instructional guide on “how to get dirtier than you’ve ever been at any point in your life…” the copy would be brief, as it would simple read: “Go race cyclocross at Washington County Fairgrounds in Hillsboro, OR.”

It was actually a pleasant day full of sun-breaks and only a 15 minute rain shower. Regardless, riders would come through after a single lap and most looked like they had lost a mud-wrestling match to an opponent made of mud who threw mud and then dirt and water, making more mud. Finall, this mud-monster would toss a few blades of grass on top as a tasty garnish. Long story short, everyone was caked in the brown goodness.

Nathan kicked off the day in the C’s by sliding and riding through the off camber section to a great mid-pack finish. Jimmy and Chris raced next in the Master C’s and both showed off their handling prowess by riding when most people around them had to run. Put put put go the green subs. Jimmy had a great race, finishing 17th. Chris had a kill-stat dream day by starting at near the back of the heard around 160th place, and finished 34th. That’s crushin’ a lot of dudes.

Our very own Sterrylizer made his first non-costumed B-race debut, only to find that his derailleur hanger couldn’t handle the manly man power of his legs slamming through the mud pits. He snapped it right off in the middle of the race, and then enjoyed a beer as his teammates suffered. Christian was having a great race in the points, but he too was afflicted with a mechanical when he decided to run into a pole and lodge his brake under his rim. He fixed the problem, but lost a lot of time/places doing so. It’s the effort that counts. ;-) Big-ring-John was also on the course at the same time in the Single Speed race. No wicked air for John this week, but he did have a very solid race finishing well up into the top half of the very strong SS field.

Hannah got the hole-shot in the Women’s B race and really got off to a great start. The mud eventually got the best of her as she went down hard on the pavement. Ouch. She had to stop for a bit, even started leaving the course, but eventually sucked it up and rubbed some dirt on it so that she could finish the race. Jill rode consistently and finished in 19th place, and Hannah came in right behind her at 20th. Diana was out on the course cruising in the Women’s Beginner race, but eventually DNF’d. (What’s the story there?)

The day concluded with Nat in the Men’s A race. He started in the back and almost got tangled up in a crash in the first fast straightaway, but somehow avoided disaster. He then rode a very smooth race and worked up to the middle of the A’s, eventually finishing 29th.

Tony the Tiger would say that this day was “grrrrrrrreat!”


My new best friends

By Nat on November 11th, 2010 Edit

Tuesday night I set out to go for a ride in the 42degree weather, only to find that 30 minutes later I could not feel my fingers, and my toes were starting to loose feeling as well. After an hour my hands were worthless and my feet were close behind. I was wearing regular long-fingered gloves and two pairs of socks; obviously not enough.
So, yesterday I splurged on some very nice waterproof/windproof booties, and fantastic winter gloves. OMFG! I rode last night in the 40degree weather (2 degrees cooler than the previous night), and I scoffed at the cold. 90 minutes later I was toasty and sweating, just the way I like it. The right gear makes all the difference, and I HIGHLY recommend doing whatever it takes to keep yourself cozy and happy. This time of year there are too many reasons not to ride, but I just found two that will help keep me in the saddle.


This is only the initial review, but I will revisit this and give an actual technical review after I have had sufficient wear-test analysis done on the booties and gloves. Hopefully they’ll get some sub-freezing tests, as well as a lot of rain, and maybe snow. I’m feeling optimistic, but only time will tell. Warm fingers crossed. :-)


Muddy Mechanicals

By sterry on November 8th, 2010 Edit

Sunday was my first serious race in Cat B. After giving it a whirl in Astoria for the costume race I figured I’d stay there for the rest of the season. I was nervous at the start, I was up near the front of the group and was worried I would run myself into the ground early on trying to keep up. The first lap certainly felt like that. But then suddenly on the 2nd lap I felt great I felt smooth through the corners and fast on the straights. I noticed that my bike was picking up a lot of mud, once or twice when I had the chance I’d bunny hop on the concrete to knock some of it off. But it was still rolling just fine. Without warning at the start of my 4th lap my hanger broke! What a terrible sound that is! Luckily I wasn’t moving to fast at the time so I was able to stop before the derailleur got caught in my wheel and did too much damage. I was too far from the pit for running to make sense, and the only person on the team who also races with Crank Bros pedals is Christian and he was in my race! Alas I was foiled by my own bike! This is the first race I didn’t finish all season and it was a big let down. I decided to take Monday off and it’s already back in business and ready for the last race of the season.

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The best 59/89 finish ever. (GSR East Coast Race Report)


It was chilly at the Tacchino CX race in Nowheresville, MD.
There were sausage “primes”, there was a guy wearing a turkey suit all
day, there were Cat C riders “embrocating” before the race. I felt
good. I was determined to beat the kid that started a row in front of
me. And we were off…went hard from the start, gave it my all
throughout, beat some guys (30 to be exact) and kept it on the gas (as
much as I have) the whole way. No crashes. The motor is getting a
little stronger, but still need quite a few more horses in there. I
felt like puking several times during the race, especially when my
inefficient heart started beating outside of my chest. After it was
over, I was sure it was a top 25. Nope, not even a top 1/2. Didn’t
even get the kid. He finished 58/89. For some reason this 59 actually
felt good – felt like there is some hope out there. Can any of you
Subs relate? Sometimes 59 doesn’t feel bad, you know? Will probably do
two more races this year, but already excited for next year. Maybe
I’ll even make the swtich to spandex, or jeggings for more


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Thanks Fat Cobras!

By Diana on November 3rd, 2010 Edit

Great practice session tonight. According to them, we are supposed to “Attack the barriers” and yell “AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH” upon approach.


Thurman Hill o’ death part 2

By Dave on November 3rd, 2010 Edit

Not sure if people saw this pic. Juan Juleek, jumping the barrier. I’m suprised to see him wearing the costume on Sat. Ok, I did my hill sprints today back to back 5 times. No rest. Excited to hopefully continue to improve. check it yo’s

1st 3:47

2nd 3:46

3rd 3:48

4th 3:54

5th 4:02 (damn, I wanted to do 5 under 4min)



Cross Crusade #6 – Astoria Day2

Sun, 31 Oct 2010
Clatsop County Fairgrounds • map
Photos: Nat - picasa   Gallery   Chris - flickr  

Sunday muddy Sunday.

It rained all night and into the morning, yet again when the team made its way over to the race the rain stopped and the skies cleared. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Where is Waldo? Everywhere. The entire team dressed up as Waldo, and Ken dressed as Odlaw. Nathan started the day as the lone racer in Men’s C, and clad in his own flaming-pirate-napoleon-dynamite version of Waldo attire, he navigated the very technical muddy switchbacks to a 25th place finish.

Chris and Ken flew around the muddy sunny course in the Master’s B race. Both looked great in their stripes, with Ken finishing 24th, and Chris finishing 45th in his first Master B race.

Dave Sterry joined Christian in the Men’s B race. Again the B’s started first, and the Single Speeds followed with Dave G., John, and Nat. Christian raced his way up to 22nd place, while Professor Consistency (D. Sterry) finished 33rd in his first B race. If you saw how thick his jeggings were, you’d be even more impressed. Nat earned a call-up in the SS race, so he was able to start up towards the front. John and Dave were a little ways back at the start. Nat again worked his way up through to the front group and fished with a nice 5th place. John and Dave also rode solid races, finishing 19th and 29th, respectively.

Phaedra raced as the only Beginner Green Sub lady, and she did a great job finishing 35th, with her huge green water replant cape on.

Lastly, Jill and Hannah raced in the Women’s B’s. After getting stopped a half-lap into the race, the ladies had to go back for a full re-start. A few minutes later, the whistle blew and they were off, again, this time for real. Hannah got a great jump and really attacked the mud and the tricky technical stuff. Jill cruised along in her sexy Waldo duct-tape outfit, picking up a dollar and a mouthful of brew along the way. Jill ended up finishing 29th. Hannah continued to pour it on, and really had the team race o’ the day, finishing with a fantastic 4th place.

This was an amazing course, filled with a tough climb, very technical swithcbacks, mud, fast descents, pavement, gravel, grass, barns, twist, turns, and everything else possible. Great race, great weekend!



Cross Crusade #5 – Astoria Day1

Sat, 30 Oct 2010
Clatsop County Fairgrounds • map
Photos: Nat - picasa  

After days of rain and more rain, the team rolled up to the Clatsop County Fairgrounds to behold the majestic mud and sunshine (or at least not rain)!

Saturday morning’s racing started off with Nathan and Doc Sterry in the Men’s C’s. Being the mud aficionados that they both are, the Subs climbed, slid, ran, and splashed their way through a very tough course and finished well. Nathan placed 32nd, and Steady Sterry finished in the points again with 15th place. The two retired to the cozy confines of the team tent and settled down with some of Klamth Basin Brewing’s finest ale.

Chris hit the course next in the Masters C race. He rode his best race of the season thus far, finishing with a little road rash and a 17th place ribbon! Points!

Next up were the Men’s B’s/Single Speeders. Christian and Ken shot off the line in the B’s. Christian got out well, while Ken crept his way forward through the race. Both finished in the points; Christian 15th, and Ken 17th. Meanwhile, the Single Speeders were also racing on the course. Dave G., John and Nat started three minutes after the B’s. Nat opted for the Single Speed over the A’s on the mud-filed course, and luckily drew a good starting number. John was close behind in the start chute. Dave G. and his super-socks waited in the middle of the bunch until the whistle blew, and blammo they were off. Five Subs on the course at one time is fun. Everyone finished well, even though it was a very tough punchy hilly course. Dave placed 38th, and John placed 28th. Nat fought up to the front to finish in 4th.

The ladies represented the team well in their races. Women’s B’s featured Hannah and Jill, and the Beginners race featured Sandy, Diana, and Phaedra. Oh, let’s not forget about cheerin’ one-armed Krissy! Although falling down was part of this race, the girls did get back up and finish strong. Diana finished 27th, Sandy 29th, and Phaedra 32nd. As we’ve come to expect in the lady B’s, Jill and Hannah were always near each other. Both were riding well, and navigating the muddy corners and hills smoothly. In the end, Hannah finished 13th, and Jill finished 16th.

Everyone then went back to the Green Submarine, submerged into the ocean, drank a few beers, watched the Ducks dismantle USC, and got their beauty sleep. Great race course, excellent racing.

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Blind Date at the Dairy #5

Wed, 27 Oct 2010
Alpenrose Dairy • map
Photos: Gallery  

We decided to just be friends.

This last date went well, but we won’t try it again until next year. The team had a smaller representation, but still had some great racing. It was a little muddy, and people were silling and sliding all over the course.

Jill had a very strong race in the Women’s B’s, and finished in 7th. Christian placed 27th in the Men’s B race, while John finished 19 in the Single Speed race on what proved to be a tough course. Nat rounded out the day with another sold SS performance, finishing 6th in the Single Speeds.

Everyone made it out of the dark slippery date unscathed! That is a success.

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Rejoice, drunks, problem solved!

By Christian on October 28th, 2010 Edit

The last thing I want is surly, mud-covered, under-inebriated teammates, so I set to work. Here’s what you do:

  1. 1. Mark your beer when the cooler shows up (these will be in a zip-loc with the cooler)
  2. 2. Drink your beer (leave the tag on so nobody steals it!)
  3. 3. Put your tag back in the zip-loc when you’re done
  4. 4. Don’t drink (or give away) beers with tags on them!

Oh, and I made some tags with sponsor logos in case you need to reserve another for whatever reason. So don’t drink these if you didn’t mark them!


The bike snob’s guide to cycling tribes

By Nat on October 28th, 2010 Edit

Absolutely fantastic!

One of my favorite lines; “The recumbent strikes fear into the hearts of nearly every non-recumbent-riding cyclist. If you’ve ever seen a dog growl at a plastic bag caught in a shrub because the dog thinks it might be some kind of weird animal, then you understand the reaction.”


The Sellwood Sprint

By Hannah on October 27th, 2010 Edit

How do you spice up your lunch hour? How about with a little sweat! I have a new course to add to the list of Urban PR Challenges. This is a flat fast course. So get those horses ready to dodge some Rollerbladers and recumbent bikes, giddy up!

COURSE: Start-gate just past OMSI. End- intersection of Springwatter corridor and the road into oaksbottom park (right before the Sellwood Bridge).

GOAL: Ride as hard as you can sprinting from gate to gate.

LAPS:Must ride down and back because inevitably there will be wind in one direction. You can have up to 5 min rest between sprints, even though the con crosso ma-ch-ine only needed 3:30 today.

-Riding South (slight tail wind) 8:38:77

-Riding North (slight head wind) 8:52:01

Best of luck at all your personal records,




Cross Crusade #4 – PIR

Sun, 24 Oct 2010
Portland International Raceway • map
Photos: Nat - picasa   Chris - flickr  

It was a wet wet wet muddy day out at PIR. Unlike previous races, this mud was classic slop. Not sticky, just fast and dirty. Yeah. The course was flat, and even though it was muddy, everyone was still flying around their laps.

Quick recap: Sterry continued his push to the front of the C’s, finishing in the points at 17th place. Nathan had a great Birthday race, finishing in the front half at 52nd. The sun peeked out for the men in the morning, but that was not to last.

Next up, Chris flatted, ran a lap, got a new wheel, and still finished in front of 75 dudes in the Master’s C race. It rained hard.

The biggest GSR contingency was in the Men’s B/SS race. Ken & Christian raced B, and did well finishing 19th and 36th, respectively. Dave, John, and Nat raced single speed. John decided to “add some flare” to his race by jumping onto the immovable object (giant concrete slab). What happens when a immovable object meets a 38t chainring? Chainring loses. John made it on the fist lap, but the second time around he smashed his chainring, ran a lap, and eventually called it a day. Dave hammered out a great race and finished 43rd in the SS rainy slop. Nat also had a fantastic race. He started last, and ended up passing over a hundred single-speeders and the majority of the B field to finish 14th in the Single Speed race.

The day concluded with the ladies killing it in the mud. Sandy and Phaedra raced in the Women’s Beginner race. Phaedra finished 57th, riding on Krissy’s temporarily-neglected bike. Sandy, broken pinky and all, stayed upright on the very slippery course to finish with a fantastic 33rd place. The Women’s B race featured Hannah and Jill going back and forth with eachother the entire race. They pulled themselves along through the slop, and ended with Hannah in 31st, and Jill in 33rd.

*Give the officials extra props for scoring this race. Everyone’s numbers were covered in mud, and they were going Mach 3 past the finish cameras. Nice job OBRA crew!*

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Juleek Racing “KING Of The Mountain Part 1.0.5”

By Dave on October 26th, 2010 Edit


I’m sure most of you are wondering how I managed to destory the singlespeeds last weekend at PIR finishing a near perfect 41st. You’re probably asking yourself, “Well Darve, how can you top that? You truly are a machine sent back in time to destroy! A Man beast bred to pedal to the metal! Shouldn’t you rest and enjoy being the best***? ” And to that I respond, I’ll rest one day but not today. I’d like to introduce the Juleek Racing Challenge “KING Of The Mountain Part 1.0.5.” A test to test a true tester….. A challenge to answer all answers. A riddle that…ok anywho……

Start at the corner of 28th and Thurman in NW.

Finish at the entrance to Leif (see picture below)

How fast can you make it to the top? Any type of bike. Want to be a clydesdave? Wear a backpack filled with stuff and make sure you weigh in at a powerful, thin, rippling, hairy (dan E shot out) 206 lbs.

My best. 3:38

Today I did 5 in a row. Recorded times as followed.

1st 3:38 (tired)

2nd 3:51 (angry)

3rd 4:00 (hungry?)

4th 4:08 (pain train)

5th 4:09 (stupid juleek challenge…stupid hill)

Enjoy :)

-darve Juleek-

*** darve juleek is definitely not the best. Hell, he’s far from it. But he does enjoy killing his body every week in the name of cyclocross. Please say hello, cheer, taunt darve if you happen to see him suffering out on the course. He enjoys beer, sleep and burritos.

**Original Photo by the radical Chris “french toast” Nelson


Back to the subject of Jeggings…

By Diana on October 26th, 2010 Edit

I love every inch of my recent purchase, from the very hip 1 1/2″ ankle opening all the way up to the convenient elastic waistband. So comfy, yet so stylish! My reserved Klamath Basin beer goes to the Submarine gentleman who buys and wears an authentic pair of jeggings (must have a back pocket).


1950 Cyclocross race

By Nat on October 26th, 2010 Edit

Amazing! They chuck their bikes into the water and over barriers, then run and climb after them. Not hurling my carbon tubulars unless I’m on them. ;-) Enjoy.

Early CX


“Can you direct me to the jean leggings?” “Jeggings?”

By Sandy on October 25th, 2010 Edit

The Green Submarine racers know style when we see it. From our uniform color-coordinated handle-bar tape to the POW! POW! points, we’re stylin’ while rocking or rolling. So, it’s no surprise that I entered the dept store on a team mission to score a sweet pair of jean leggings. I was purposely trying to avoid the word “jeggings”, because, really, this fashion trend is just ridiculous (which may also explain why we’re partaking in it).

I scored that pair of jeggings, but alas, the downtown Ross is now void of the latest legging trend. However, across the block, Forever XXI has several varieties to choose from. Prices range from $8.50 to 17.50. I’d shell out a little more for the elastic waistband- lest, the hot pants fall to your ankles under the weight of mud.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, various jegging crotch shots. May or may not be NSFW.

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Chris, I got the iPod game you recommended

By Christian on October 21st, 2010 Edit

And it inspired me to do a nice ride…

Google Maps URL:
Started: Oct 21, 2010 15:00:52
Ride Time: 2:35:46
Distance: 37.27 miles
Average: 14.36 miles/h
Fastest Speed: 27.69 miles/h
Climb: 2162 feet

So my main workout was Leif from Thurman to Germantown, which I clocked in 38min… One of you gentlemen need to go beat me now.

So ladies, who’s going to set the women’s mark? =)



Blind Date at the Dairy #4

Wed, 20 Oct 2010
Alpenrose Dairy • map

It was an interesting night at the dairy.

Things started off innocently enough. The ladies took the course on the dry warm evening and flew past on their first lap. Jill was in the Women’s B (riding John’s fancypants bike) race and Krissy in the Beginners. Then the evening quickly turned as Krissy awkwardly walked toward the finish line holding her arm saying “my bone is sticking out!” Yikes!!!! She went down on a gravel corner and dislocated her elbow. Christian then quickly whisked her away to OHSU where Krissy was pieced back together. Yay! Good job hanging in there Krissy, and 5 bonus points to Christian for selflessly taking her to the hospital. Jill also finished respectably in the middle of her race (4 dropped chains and how many spills?).

For a bit, no one really felt like riding fast and pushing it around corners. With that, Chris competed in his first Blind Date race and he did a good job navigating the twilight, and having to start at the back of a very large Men’s C field.

Men’s B and Single Speed were up next. It was completely dark out, but the moonlight and properly positioned lights around the course really made things straightforward. Christian made it back from the hospital just in time to line up for the race. He completed the race, although he just called it a “ride.” You get a free pass on this one. ;-)

John and Nat were in the single speed race that started a minute after the B’s, which meant a clusterfudge was inevitable. Nat received a call up and started in the front row, and John lined up right behind him. The whistle blew and the SS’ers caught up to the B’s after just a few corners and it was a big train for the first few laps. Both guys were riding really well, and Nat was trading off at the front in the lead group for the first 4 laps. When the dust and the dew settled, Nat finished 5th, and John finished 18th (but if you ask him, he was sitting 13th. damn crash).

Fun race, strange night, and it looks like mud next week…

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A Ribbon On My Tail

By Jill on October 21st, 2010 Edit

Today I was telling another cycling-addicted co-worker about my inability to stay upright while racing, despite the fact that my only goal every race is to not fall (okay I will admit it: I have other goals too, like winning and stuff). This is her gem of a response:

“Are other riders: Starting to staying away from you? Congratulate you when you stay upright? Call you Crash? On horseback trail rides if a horse has a habit of kicking, you’re suppose to tie a ribbon on it’s tail to warn other riders. Maybe you should wear something to warn other riders that you have a problem with gravity. ”

If you see a ribbon tied to my back pocket next Sunday now you know why it’s there.

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Hello Rain!

By sterry on October 21st, 2010 Edit

It looks like last Sunday’s race was probably the last of the nice weather. I sense rain from here on out. But at least we wont have to deal with those pesky volcanoes anymore.


Krissy fell down went boom

By Nat on October 20th, 2010 Edit

Krissy Blind Date was not the most fun this evening. Her elbow has been more in-the-socket, but it should be back in place and happy now as I write this. We had to leave the E.R. before the doctors put her under and made her elbow go “thunk” (their words) back in place.

GET WELL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Cyclemeter for iPhone with GPS

By Chris on October 19th, 2010 Edit

Just bought this cool GPS Cycling app and tested it out on the ride home. Generated the following information:

Google Maps URL:

Started: Oct 19, 2010 4:52:45 PM

Ride Time: 59:13

Distance: 13.55 miles

Average: 13.73 miles/h

Fastest Speed: 31.42 miles/h

Climb: 812 feet


Sherwood video

By Nat on October 19th, 2010 Edit

Beautiful footage. Christian Ken (silver bikes, same race, same last name. get’s confusing) makes a brief cameo, and Jill gets some prime-time coverage.



Get your MUD on!

By Nat on October 19th, 2010 Edit

It has been lovely outside, but now it’s time for a new kind of lovely; MUD. If this coming weekend at PIR is half as wet and muddy as it was last year, we are in for a big brown treat. Get your mud-shedding knobby tires mounted, spray some teflon on your shins, screw in your 4 inch shoe-spikes, and get ready to do some boggin’ at PIR.

This forecast has optimistically said “Heavy Rain,” man.

Dig it!


As if cars weren’t bad enough

By Chris on October 19th, 2010 Edit

Nat and a helpless doe damn-near collided while on the way to work today. Well, “damn-near” might be an exaggeration, but we did see a deer at the top of the west hills during our morning commute.



Cross Crusade #3 – Sherwood

Sun, 17 Oct 2010
Sherwood Forest Equestrian Center • map
Photos: Nat - picasa   Chris - flickr  

On what could be the last nice day of the season, the Subs took advantage of beautiful weather and a difficult course to turn in some great results.

The two most significant finishes were that of Dave Sterry and Christian Reed who earned their first call-up points of the season, joining Hannah, Jill, Krissy, and Jimmy as subs who’ve scored so far this Cross Crusade. The points mean that they’ll always be some of the first guys called up to the line in their respective races, and bode well for more great finishes this season.

Sterry’s race in the C’s got the ball rolling for the Subs. Dave had been battling from bad start positions in big fields through the first two races, where with a little advantage he could have converted. Finally gifted a course that rewarded the physically and mentally fit, he steadily picked off competitors to solidly stake his claim to some points with at 16th place finish. In the same race Nate battled hard, turning in four great laps, before finally succumbing to the pressures of an unworn course and massive hills to come in at a most respectable 69th place. [Editor’s note: 69, HA!]

Meanwhile in Master C’s, Chris rode a solid race to finish in 56th place in a ridiculous field of 177 competitors. He then spent the rest of the day getting loaded and taking pictures. Hoorah!

While Christian’s in-the-money 15th place finish was the notable result of the B race, the story was that of Ken running in 5th place late in the race before getting a flat. The results may say DNF, but not only did he finish the race by running half the course to the neutral pit, he demonstrated the kind of fitness that indicates more good things brewing.

On the course at the same time were singlespeeds, where there was absolutely no gear that anyone wanted to be in on a course that matched big climbs with equal descents. The Juleek brothers worked hard, but there’s just no accounting for some races… Well, actually, there’s drinking, which makes up for a lot. And that’s why Tug-Nuts come with a built-in bottle-opener!

In Beginner Women’s, Krissy continued her assault up the ranks with a 17th place finish, surprising herself with hill-climbing tenacity she didn’t know she possessed. And Diana once again flexed her inner competitor turning in a 36th place result.

Women’s B was a place of heartache for the Subs. Hannah got off to a great start, logging as high as 4th place before the cycling gods frowned on her with an unstickably stuck dropped chain. After herculean efforts she got back on course and managed a respectable 20th place, but oh what might have been… Meanwhile Jill’s old beau, Jake, decided to flat at an inopportune moment, and she had to run to the Team Pit to take on Ryan Mauk’s suddenly undersized ride. She hung tough, though, to not come in last amongst finishers, taking 47th out of 48.

Finally, in Men’s A, a six foot six beanstalk of a man gave us the ride we’ve all been waiting for, and we’re not talking about Ryan Trebon’s dismantling of Chris Shephard. No, The Green Sub’s very own Nat Johnson finally turned in the kind of wire-to-wire sixty minute effort we know he’s capable of, coming in 32nd out of 59 starters. To say that Nat has a future in A’s, would be to overlook the fact that he’s becoming competitive right now. Keep it up, Nat, and next week we may even save you a beer!


Juleek Racing

By Dave on October 18th, 2010 Edit

I was looking back at my high school yearbook the other day and found this old pic from my “racing” days. Same body, same cool tasty style.

darve Juleek.


How does a Cross racer drive? Fast.

By Diana on October 17th, 2010 Edit

I, being Krissy’s cross commute buddy, have discovered that each Sunday morning drive is a rare and priviledged insight into Krissy’s racing mentality. Notice the athletic stance, firm grip and sassy comment perched on the tip of her tongue. I often try to start our journey 5 to 10 minutes behind schedule, just to see if she can make up the time on the road, and she always does with skill and sophistication, pulling her trademark mad-face and yelling “On your right!” at every triumphant pass. This folks, is a born racer, in her natural environment: pure instinct.

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More photos…

By Chris on October 16th, 2010 Edit

Just finished scanning my Rainier stuff, though I still have about a dozen latent shots on the roll in my camera. Anyhoo… liked this shot of Jimmy & Son.



It’s getting cold, but never fear Mr. Heater is here.

By sterry on October 15th, 2010 Edit

You may have noticed the recent drop in temperature. (I hope you have, if you haven’t that means you don’t get out much) And maybe you thought to your self like I did. “Gah it’s going to suck to stand around cold after my race on Sundays!” Don’t worry a solution to this problem has presented it’s self in the form of a generous sponsorship from my parents. That’s right dear team mates my parents gave us 100 bucks to buy a portable heater. So soon Mr. Heater (he’s working on his Ph.d) will be joining us every chilly Sunday morn.




Pow! Pow! Alpenrose! winner, Tony Kic, writes:

“hey, that’s awesome. thanks! unfortunately your prize doesn’t benefit me as i don’t drink, but i appreiciate the gesture. see y’all this weekend. -t”

But Tony, that’s not all you win! There’s also a commemorative Pow! Pow! Paper! Patch! (Don’t eat it.)


Don’t cross the finish line!

By Christian on October 14th, 2010 Edit

Most people have heard not to cross the finish line when you’re not racing, but many don’t know what it’s all about. In order to keep track of laps, OBRA has a camera set up that takes a picture every time the plane of the finish line is crossed, then officials manually note which numbers passed when.

[Aside: This is why they ask you not to sit up whenever you’re crossing the finish line on a lap, as it obscures your number and can affect scoring. Additionally, if you’ve ever been left out of the placing on the sheet after the race or have been shorted a lap, it’s usually because your number was obscured and they have to go back later and try to figure out who you were. So always check the results the next day, because they close results 24hrs after posting.]

So when you are warming up and cross the finish line you cause the camera to fire and this messes up their setup process.

How to get around? Usually there’s a stick on the other side of the line that indicates the boundary of the camera sensor.

Be good citizens, Subs, and avoid the finish line on warm-ups!

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Blind Date at the Dairy #3

Wed, 13 Oct 2010
Alpenrose Dairy • map

The evening began with a beautiful and warm 70+ degree sunlit dairy. Jill and Krissy hit the course with great fury. Jill took it out hard and led the race through almost 2 laps, but then in the little Western town her tire decided she was riding too fast, so it jumped off of her rim. Ouch. It seemed like it was her day, but it was not to be. Krissy had a great race in the beginner’s Women category. She charged early, and settled into a solid 12th place finish.

30 minutes later, Nat and John rolled up to the start line for the Single Speed race, and the darkness had already settled in. The temp was dropping quickly as the race began. John had an early jump to the front, while Nat was stuck at the back of the start chute. John stayed up with the lead pack until he slid out, twisted his ankle and endo’d on the gravely s-curve section of the course. He regained his composure and continued to race. Meanwhile, Nat was aggressively weaving his way through all of the traffic to try to get up to his teammate, and he did so just following John’s spill. Nat continued his march to the front group, picking off rider after rider. All this time, the temperature was continuing to drop, and a surprising amount of condensation was showing up on everything. The dirt was getting a little muddy, and the grass was becoming wet and slippery. The key to the race for both of these fellows was riding the run-up each time. Most people were running, but the GreenSub boys chewed up the field and entertained the crowd by riding up the crazy steep run-up.

In the end, John finished a respectable 23rd. Next time he will hopefully stay on his bike, and continue to be mechanical-free on his fancy new Stans/King wheels. Nat finished 9th, never got passed in the race, and earned himself a call-up for next week’s SS start.

In summary, there were plenty highlights and lowlights, but everyone really wants to get a little action and go on a date again next week.

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The one that got away

By Jill on October 14th, 2010 Edit

Last night’s Blind Date at the Dairy will forever be embedded in my brain as the one that got away. I was leading for almost two laps; when went through the little paved city part of the course for the second time I cut one of the corners too tight and took a pretty good digger. I got back on my bike but my rear tire had partially come off the hub so the wheel wouldn’t turn. I wasn’t very good at diagnosing the problem in the moment, so I just walked to the maintenance tent, where realized all I had to do was deflate the tube and roll the tire back on. By that time I was a full lap behind but got back on the course just behind the leader, thoroughly confusing everyone in my race. I could taste victory! Until I tasted asphalt…


Support singletrack in Forrest Park

By Christian on October 14th, 2010 Edit

Saw this on the boards. I’m going to try to make it.

“… Northwest Trail Alliance is organizing a group ride in Forest Park at 9 am on
Saturday, October 16 to demonstrate Portlanders’ desires for increased
singletrack bicycling opportunities in the park. The ride will take place on the
access road that winds through the park, which is legally open to bicycles, and
will be preceded by a short rally, fueled by free, fresh-brewed coffee.

“On Saturday, riders will gather at 9 am at the Thurman Gate–the far north end
of NW Thurman Street–where statements will be read and coffee imbibed. At 9:30,
the ride will commence on the Leif Erikson access road. All ages and abilities
are encouraged to participate. If driving to the event, Northwest Trail Alliance
encourages riders to park down the hill from the Thurman Gate so as not to clog
the access.”

More on OBRA forums.

Local politicians need to know that we give a crap about parks and that we vote.



Cross Crusade #2 – Rainier

Sun, 10 Oct 2010
Rainier HS • map
Photos: Nat - picasa   Chris - flickr  

Oh boy. This race was fun? Yes. Right? Yes.

Each category experienced a significantly different consistency of mud. The guys in the morning slipped, slid, and splashed through classic wet rain mud. Then the rain stopped and things started to change. The mud got thicker, more peanutbuttery, and in some ways better, and in many ways worse. It’s all about perspective. At the end of the day, things were drying up, meaning the entire course was still mud, just really really thick and slow. More of a chunky peanutbutter molasses honey combo.

Everyone raced hard, and the course won most of the battles. There were crashes, climbs, mud, climbs, mud, mud, mud and climbs with some more crashes. Nathan and Sterry kicked off the day with solid mudslinging and root hoppin’, and Dave S. continued on his warpath to a 22nd place finish.

Next up, Jimmy and Chris raced against 150 Master C fellows and they both did quite well, making Jimmy a strong candidate for GSR’s ride o’ the day award with his 18th place finish. They both crushed a lot of dudes, and Chris even crushed his own groin. Take that, stupid muscle!

The course then started in to get thick and meaty when the Men’s B & Single Speed race began. Dave and John grinded like bash brothers up the hills and slogged through the mud with the best of them. Dave definitely had the socks of the day, and John had the prettiest (green) hubs to match his uniform. Oooh la la. Christian smiled the entire race as he slid around course to a solid finish, although his shoulder might not agree, as it doubled as a crash landing pad. See photo below.

The ladies shot out of the start chute, rounded up the hill past the snazzy new team tent, and did very well. Definitely GSR’s most successful races of the day. Hannah and Jill both finished at the front of the Women’s B race; Jill (the other GSR’s ride o’ the day award candidate) finished 10th, and Hannah finished 16th. In the womens’s Beginners race, Diana and Krissy showed their stuff, and climbed the hills with gusto and verve. Krissy finished 22nd, while Diana was right behind her strongest ride to date (she must be part sherpa) and she climbed to 31st.

The day ended with a new extended (mud climbing) section of the course for Nat in the Men’s A race. He rode a consistent race, climbed the hills well and stayed up on his bike the entire time.

It was a sticky mess, and everyone survived. Fun? Definitely.


Pow! Pow! Points! Rainier!



This week’s Pow! Pow! Points! may seem like a no-brainer in every sense of the word, but there was actually some discussion as to whether you can qualify for Pow! Pow! if your Pow! Pow!ing may have led to your not finishing the race. Ultimately, though, we decided that putting your race at risk for the sake of style is the very definition of Pow! Pow! (And why we’re such big Lindsey Jacobellis fans.)

Lindsey Jacobellis

So hop on, Nick Gibson! And hop your way on over to The Green Sub tent-mansion at Sherwood to collect a tasty 22 of Klamath Basin, a beer strong enough to help you sleep-off the nastiest concussions!

And the rest of you, keep doing what you do, and maybe you’ll win the Pow! Pow! Points! at one of the six remaining Cross Crusade races, and qualify for the Grand Pow! Pow! Prize!

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Is there a doctor in the house?

By Christian on October 11th, 2010 Edit

This is me taking a major digger at the bottom of that slick rooted hill at Rainier. [Props to Josh Cady for finding it!] Best guess (and all evidence) points to this being where I injured my left shoulder. I was a little worried about this being serious, but my roommate’s brother, a doctor, is in town, and totally gave me an at-home exam! So don’t worry, crew, I didn’t tear anything, and I should be back for next weekend. (Blind Date is another thing.)

Anyway, seems to me that between this experience and Dave’s singlehanded support of the medical system, that we need to recruit a doctor to the team. Preferably an ER physician good at sutures.

Anybody know somebody?

UPDATE: Looks like PDX Cross simultaneously got the other side of my crash. This would all be funnier if I wasn’t missing Blind Date #3 due to my sore shoulder. =P

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The steed got new shoes!

By Nat on October 9th, 2010 Edit

My ride is ready for the mud and hills tomorrow morning, but am I? I made 4 changes/upgrades to the ol’ girl. Can you find them all? A beer with for you if you can name each of them. A bonus gold star if you can name the 5th (purely superficial aesthetic addition)



3rd sub to go down with wrist/hand injury…

By Shawn on October 9th, 2010 Edit

So there was a major lapse in focus on Wednesday. Repairing broken front brake from last Sunday. Replacing the cable hanger, had the handle bars all loosened up, Serena gets home, I get distracted with domestic duties (carrying groceries, dog duties, etc), got behind on time for Blind Date and grabbed my bag and bike and as I rode down the driveway a catastrophic fail ensued. Front wheel tried to make a 90 degree turn as the rest went straight.

Needless to say, I went down and multiple neighbors where there to witness. Rash and bash on my foot, knee, elbow, and hand. Serena says bone contusion vs. small fracture on left hand.
I’m out for Sunday at Rainier and possibly next weeks Blind Date.

Let’s hope this ends the injury run for the GSR’s

Cheers all


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Bike Maintenance/Tune-up Workshop

By Sandy on October 8th, 2010 Edit

Hey, everyone! My bike is in sorry condition and desperately needs some basic maintenance. I know how to lube the chains and cables, but I’d like to learn how to adjust the derailluers and brakes.

Would anyone be able to host the workshop and show me the skills I need to keep my bike in top condition? I’ll bring a six pack/growler/gourmet soda and maybe even some noms. Please let me know!


Dan “bubble toes” Esterling

By Dave on October 8th, 2010 Edit

I stumbled upon this old photo of our only east coast rider, Dan Esterling. Just a few years ago Dan was considered one of the premier riders on the NW Papa Murphys take n bake MTB Series.

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Blind Date at the Dairy #2

Wed, 6 Oct 2010
Alpenrose Dairy • map

In what will probably be one of the last nice nights of the year, five Subs made the trek out to Alpenrose to race under the lights. Krissy got us started the right way with a 7th place finish in the beginner’s race (gettin’ time to cat-up, darlin’!), and Jill ran incognito in a green shirt to 15th in the B’s (sometimes you gotta race smelly, girlie).

On the men’s side, John rode an awesome race to place lucky 13th in the singlespeeds (notice he’s not “Mechanical” this week), while his brother, Dave, finished a solid 29th with only a minor nick to the bionic knee. Meanwhile Christian rode through several dropped chains to a mid-pack finish in the B’s, but he got to ride the wall, and that’s really all that matters.

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Extreme Makeover — Bike Edition

By Jill on October 8th, 2010 Edit

It all started at Kruger’s Kermesse – a pre-season race on the bumpy dirt roads of Sauvie Island. I met my Green Submarine teammates for the first time — they introduced themselves and then quickly opened my eyes to the bike racing fashion faux-pas I had inadvertently been making as a novice cyclist. Apparently the commuter rack attached to Jake, my 2005 entry-level cyclocross bike by Kona, stuck out like a fanny pack on a middle-aged tourist in a Portland tattoo parlor. And that second set of brakes – so convenient for laid-back spins through the city?… pretty much as necessary as the long-sleeved shirt a Mormon woman wears under her tank top on a 100˚ day…. NOT SEXY.

Starting to get the picture, and admittedly allured by the idea of a bike that didn’t lift over barriers like a sack of boulders, I removed the rack. That one small change transitioned Jake from his baby-fat childhood to the awkward pre-teen stage. But this is not a comfortable time for Jake…or for me. I graduated to Cat B’s this year, and it already feels eerily similar to my first few months of high school: none of the cool girls have a triple chain ring or a double set of brakes (nor do they keep their shoes on with duct tape). They know how to get the mud stains off their jerseys, and they own more than a single kit. They re-mount fluidly and some even ride single speed and run tubular tires (which I assume means they know how to install and maintain them – badass)! What have I gotten myself into?! It’s an intimidating situation, and just the thought of another race makes me start sweating.

It’s also hands down the most (painfully) enjoyable sport I’ve picked up as an adult athlete. I know I want to race cyclocross next year, the year after, and each year forward until my body screams for me to stop loud enough that I actually comply. That being said… I want a big-kid bike.

Removing the commuter rack sent Jake into adolescence, but he’s got a ways to go before he can stand wheel-to-wheel with his peers and not feel the sting of insecurity. Which is why he signed up for Extreme Makeover – Bike Edition. Jake’s makover will begin with the replacement of his old, heavy, crappy wheels with a higher-grade and stiffer wheelset, which will reduce rotational weight and improve acceleration. Once funds have been secured for future procedures Jake will also acquire a carbon fork and a compact double (or maybe single!) chain ring. At some point in time he will also undergo a redundant-brake system removal, maybe even upgrade to disc brakes, and get a higher quality bottom bracket.

I am excited to witness Jake’s transition to maturity, and will be sure to update you on his post-op condition as his makeover evolves.

PS If you would like to be a part of Jake’s makover team please send me an e-mail.

Jill with Jake in his awkward adolescent stage.


Slow Motion with D

By Dave on October 8th, 2010 Edit

Our good friend and excellent Cross rider Damian Schmitt has a great blog. We’ve known D for quite a while and this year he’s having a wonderful season. Great job Damian. I’m pretty sure D was at the first ever derby show in Corvallis. Be sure to say hello to him at the races and go check out his blog here. Something tells me he’d look pretty good in a green submarine kit (wink)

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Pow! Pow! Points! Alpenrose!


At each race during the Cross Crusade, Green Submarine Records will be picking somebody who demonstrates unparalleled style. This week we choose this guy!

Not only did he jump the ramp every lap, but his hubs are color-coordinated to his uniform. That’s style!

For his victory, this man of bike handling and sexual tenderness wins 22oz of delicious Klamath Basin suds. Look for us at our new tent, Mr. Lover, to claim your prize.

For everyone else, keep showing your style out at the Crusade, and maybe you’ll win the weekly Pow! Pow! Points! and qualify for the Grand Pow! Pow! Prize! at the end of the season!

Stay tuned!


East Coast Update

By Nat on October 7th, 2010 Edit

(written by our lone East Coast ‘crosser, Dan Esterling)

GreenSub News Alert: ‘Cross season kicked off several weeks ago for
the East Coast representative of GreenSub. After several months of
lackluster training efforts and terrible eating habits, I began my
season with an 88th place finish (102 finishers, 5 DNFs) in
Baltimore’s Charm City Cross event (Day 1). This event is part of the
Mid Atlantic Cross (MAC) series, where, in my estimation 93 or 94% of
the competitors in CATEGORY C rock the skinsuit/shaved leg combo. Are
you kidding me?!! Too many road riders with too much endurance
sandbagging in Cat C…

In my second event, the “Ed Sanders Memorial Cross” – part of the
MABRA series, I actually felt pretty strong, didn’t crash, and didn’t
feel like I wanted to die at the conclusion of the race. I finished
76th out of 89 finishers. There were a handful of DNF’ers, but now
that I write that out, it is pretty embarrassing to count those people
as part of the small group that I “beat.” Oh, the highlight of the
race was a “sprint finish” between me and another competitor, where I
easily beat him to the line. After the race, he pulls up to me and
says “can’t wait to tell my wife that I had a sprint finish”, to which
I responded – “yeah, but we were sprinting for 101st place.” I was
only 25 spots off I guess. Pretty happy that Lauren was not there to
see that display of “competition.”

Last weekend, I raced on Saturday at the “Breast Cancer Awareness”
‘cross race in Cascade, MD. 2 hour drive, 9 a.m. start time. Ugh. I
felt terrible. No legs. I even did some nice training rides during the
week to augment my usual training program which entails a leisurely
ride to and from work. Also, the place didn’t even have a concession
stand. No fries, no drinks, no nothing. Never going back. In a
slightly smaller field, I finished 36th out of 44. To contradict
myself above, I will mention that there were quite a few DNFs. I don’t
think these were “mechanicals” either – I actually think conditions
were so sloppy that people gave up. So, something to be proud of I

Next weekend is the Hyattsville CX Race. I’ve actually been riding a
bit more, and trying to eat a little better. (After all, there is no
Clydesdale category out here). There is also talk that my second
generation GreenSub jersey will be here in time for the Sunday start


Watch out Cat C.

By sterry on October 5th, 2010 Edit

That’s right Cat. C Racers my bike is at this moment getting a huge upgrade. Gone are the triple crank, the 8 speed SORA dérailleurs and STIs. In their place? An FSA Carbon Crankset, Dura Ace 9 speed Cassette paired with an Ultegra Rear dérailleur and STI’s. Practically a new bike.


Nightmares the Night Before

By sterry on October 4th, 2010 Edit

The night before a big race is always a tough time. Is my bike clean and running smoothly? Did I eat the right dinner? Did I make the right sacrifice to the Gods of cycling? All tough questions to answer. But the past Saturday I decided to avoid all those questions by eating a PB & J sandwich for dinner, drinking 4 beers and claiming and successfully defending my house Ping Pong title. So it was with a clear if unprepared head I went to bed at midnight before the first race of the Cross Crusade season. I might have stayed up all night if I knew what lay lurking in my mind.

My nightmare started innocently enough. I’m on the starting line at Alpenrose nervous but ready to race. Suddenly Dave G. runs up to me he can’t find his jersey and isn’t ready to race. Too late! The race takes off and Dave has to stand and watch. Mins into the first lap I realize I desperately need to go to the bathroom. Using all my cunning I decided to run into one of the houses in Western Town along the course. Relieved I reemerge ready to get back in the race. But what’s this?! My trusty Redline has been stolen! Alas the race is lost for both Daves! I’m inconsolable standing around in my team gear and looking distraught. “Maybe” I think to myself “Maybe my single speed is here and I can ride it!” Oooh I found it alright but both wheels had been stolen! Not only that but I ran into 4 other guys with the same single speed all missing wheel sets. Who would steal a wheel sets only from Masi single speeds though? A question with no answer as I woke up right before my alarm went off.

Luckily for me the race went smoothly and no one tried to steal my bike. This Saturday I’m going to be early.

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Cross Crusade #1

Sun, 3 Oct 2010
Photos: Nat - picasa   Christian - flickr  

And so it begins. The real cyclocross season is upon us; Cross Crusade race # 1 at Alpenrose Dairy was a world record setting day for number of racers. The fields were huge, the crowd was fantastic, and the weather was cooperative.
The team was in full effect, with riders represented all day long. The morning kicked off with four Subs in the Men’s C race. Everyone came out unscathed and smiling for more. Dave Sterry sterilized the field, coming from the back to finish 47th out of 120+ riders. Dave G. rolled in (no creekebeds or backflips!) at a solid 55th place, followed by a great race from Shawn at 60th, and Nathan with the solid 78th.
In the Men’s Master C race, Chris and Jimmy rode very well. Chris shot out with the lead pack and ended up 27th, while Jimmy clawed his way through the field, hitting the ground a few times in between, and finished in 49th out of 200+ men in the field. Huge!
Next up, John had a fantastic Single Speed race, finishing in a very respectable 27th place, and equally as impressive was the fact that he racked up no mechanicals. So far, he is the points leader the mechanical-issue category.
The Men’s B race featured Christian and Ken. Christian earned a call-up because of his mandatory upgrade, so he had pole-position to start. He took full advantage of this for his first big B race, and fished strong in 21st place (only 3 away from points!). Ken chewed up the competition lap after lap and climbed all the way up to 28th place. A few more laps and he might’ve won the race.
The afternoon kicked into high gear with the Women’s race. Who could forget about these ladies?!? Exactly, no one. They are too fast and too much faster to not acknowledge in a blog post. Sandy sat this one out nursing her broken finger, but she played an integral role with her words of encouragement for everyone on each lap. In the Women’s B race, Hannah also got a call-up based on her pre-season standing, and she shot off the line and lead most of the first lap, despite (or possibly as a result of) having limited gears available due to a yet-to-be-determined mechanical issue. She then settled into the race, and had as spectacular 10th place finish. Jill also chewed through the B field and finished 25th. Also on the course were Krissy and Diana in the beginners race. Krissy made her way up into the B-train and finished with a very impressive 15th place. Diana continued to ride faster and faster and finished 77th. Nice job ladies.
Lastly, Nat had to jump into the octagon with the big boys for his first experience in the A race or “Elite Men” as some refer to it. ;-) He was also awarded a call-up because of the mandatory upgrade. Nat took full advantage of his starting place and nailed the hole-shot, securing his 15 seconds of fame. Once the front of the race whizzed by, he just held on for the next 72 minutes, ultimately finishing 47th. The silver lining was that he finished on the lead lap. Those guys are silly fast.
Super day, super team, soup for dinner.

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Blind Date at the Dairy #1

Wed, 29 Sep 2010
Photos: Nat - picasa   Christian - flickr  

Oooeee that was a lovely evening. Jill, Sandy, Shawn, Christian, John and Nat all arrived early at Alpenrose Dairy to check out the sunny course.
Sandy and Jill raced at 6pm with the light still available from planet Earth’s yellow sun. Although neither of them came from Krypton, the sun still provided extra power as the ladies flew around the course. Jill took the hole-shot but then dropped her chain, and ended up finishing a respectable 19th. Sandy finished 17th in the Beginner Women’s race.
Next up, Shawn competed in his first Men’s C race, and did a great job finishing in the top half of the field.
As the Single Speeds and Men’s B race lined up, the darkness started to set in. Christian lined up for his first voyage as a B, and he did very well, easily finishing in the top half of the field. John and Nat competed in the Single Speed category, and “Mechanical” John found a way to drop his chain multiple times, cut up his hand nicely, and still ride a strong race. Nat got boxed in at the start, but worked his way up through the race to a great 6th place finish.
Awesome course, super fans, lovely setting, and it happens again next week! And for the next three weeks after that! Yes.

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Battle at Barlow

Sun, 26 Sep 2010
Photos: Christian - flickr   Nat - picasa   Chris - flickr  

Oh what a battle it was…

The day started well enough with Christian picking up the win in what should be his final C race, while Sterry (aka Scary, aka Story, aka Starry, aka Sherry, aka Hot Legs) rode a hard fought race for 11th, “Mechanical” John came in at 19th, and Nathan 32nd. Then in the Master’s C’s Chris and Jimmy posted top-half finishes against a massive field stacked with former Olympians.

From there it was all down (up) a muddy hill. Nat rode an awesome race to take third in the Men’s B’s on a fast deteriorating course. The women then rounded out the day more off their bikes than on. Jill and Hannah got top ten finishes in the Women’s B’s in a final lap that looked more like a death march than a bicycle race, while Krissy, Sandy and Diana increased our smiles to miles ratio in the beginners race.

We then wrapped it all up at the Naval Base with brews courtesy of Klamath Basin. Good day!


John Gulick


John Gulick: Men’s C & SS Cyclocross / Cat 2 XC / Cat 2 & SS STXCMTB

John has never seen hill he couldn’t climb, a trail he couldn’t bomb, or a dismount that shouldn’t have been ridden. He will race you, and then he will go race again. After that he will race your mom, and he’ll win. John has been rumored to stay up all night before a race sharpening his chainrings to a razor point, purely for the intimidation factor. Truth be told: it works.

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Hood River Double Cross Day #2

Sun, 19 Sep 2010
Photos: Nat - picasa  

Subs represented well on the fairgrounds in Hood River, with Christian taking 3rd in the C’s, Ken 4th in the 35+ B’s, Nat 3rd in the B’s, and Hannah 6th in the Women’s B’s.

Best of all, nobody went off a bridge.

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Hood River Double Cross Day #1

Sat, 18 Sep 2010
Photos: Chris - flickr  

A surprisingly dry day considering the rain that led up to the weekend. We had a lot of racers, and some spectacular highlights! The day started off with Men’s C: Dave G., John, Christian, Chris, and Dave S. raced. Dave G decided to chuck himself off of the bridge into the rocky waters below. That was his own unique first-lap tactic, and he did finish the race very strong. After that, he took it easy. ;-) Jimmy raced Master’s C, and his son cheered for him by wearing the tiniest cycling jersey ever. That is one aero toddler. Next, Ken & I raced in Men’s B, and John raced again in the Single Speed category. Lastly, the ladies raced; Krissy and Diana in the Beginners, and Hannah is the Women’s B’s. Krissy decided that a flat tire was a good idea at the end of the race, and Hannah decided crashing a bit would keep her fast. In summary, it was a great day.

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Pain+Suffer’n CX

Sun, 12 Sep 2010
Photos: Chris - flickr   Christian - flickr   Nat - picasa  

It was hot, tough, long and oh so much fun. Hannah, Jill, Sandy, Christian, Dave G., Isaac, Shawn, Dave S., Chris and I all raced. Isaac hurt his wrist before he even started and Dave flatted out in the race, but they still looked good doing it. We had lots of crashes and close-calls, but we also had 3 people on the podium. Dave S. placed 3rd in the Men’s Beginner race, I placed 2nd in the Men’s Cat B race, and Christian was victorious in the Men’s Cat C race. Good day!

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Kruger’s Kermesse Farm Crit

Sun, 29 Aug 2010
Photos: Chris - flickr   Nat - picasa  

It was a great day for the Green Submarine riders. Although not everyone has the official uniform yet, everyone did receive the official memo that read: “GO FAST!” Hannah, Jill, Krissy, Sandy, Diana, Dave S., Chris, Ken, Dave G., Isaac, John and myself all raced. It was fast, dusty. fast, and faster. Everyone sported a dirty grin at the end of their race. Great day.

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Sat, 14 Aug 2010
Photos: Nat - picasa  

Hannah and I both won silver medals in Women’s Cat 2 & Men’s Cat 1, respectively. It was crazy-hot outside, and we climbed like sherpas over the hills. Somehow, I still considered this fun.

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PDX MTB Short Track #6

Mon, 26 Jul 2010
Photos: Chris - flickr   Nat - picasa  

Hot dusty and awesome! Chris, Hannah, Dave, Christian, John and I all raced. No one had to get stitches, but of course we still brought the drama. Chris raced his cross bike, I raced my single-speed cross bike, John did 2 races, and Dave blew out his shock but finished the race. Ahhh. Then we went out for beers & food. Great eve.’

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PDX MTB Short Track #2

Mon, 28 Jun 2010
Photos: Nat - picasa  

This time it was dry, fast and bumpy. Hannah, John, Dave, Isaac, Jimmy, Christian and I all raced. Highlights: Jimmy got 14th in his race, out of a billion people; Hannah got 4th in her race, John raced 2 races in a row and even started late in the second one; Isaac got passed by John ;-) ; Christian rocked it on his ‘cross bike; Dave got stitches in his knee; and I competed in my first Cat 1 race. All in all, a pretty great day. Except for the stitches. Roboknee will be back soon.

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Mastering the Art of Juleek Racing

By Sandy on July 4th, 2010 Edit

Darve Juleek has gained fame and notoriety for his cycling antics. There’s no hill too tall or bridge too slippery for this man to cross. Darve scoffs at obstacles that (sub)standard cyclists hesitate to pass.

So, when I was struck by an SUV in the right hook of death, I felt the twang of Juleek Racing. I was on my vintage cherry red Univega (boy, was she great ride). I felt invincible! Darve, you’re not alone. In fact, I might be better at Juleek Racing than Juleek himself!

You decided to one-up me by flying off a bridge on Saturday at the Hood River Double Cross. It was a good stunt, I’ll give you that.

But, then, I broke my pinky. How’s this for shock and awe?! And I’m not even going to tell you how I did it! It’s your move, big boy! See you in the ER!

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